In 2015 after weeks in hospital, my Father passed away.
Words don’t often escape me but I struggled to put into complete sentences how I felt.
Shocked. Numb. Cripplingly, achingly sad.
And so I gave myself permission to press pause.
To be with my family. To reflect and to mourn. To remember and to celebrate.
Strangely, I found solace in my normal routine and I still popped up on social media from time to time; commenting, sharing. I tried to sit down at my desk a couple of times, to write, to craft, to pour out my thoughts.
But the fog was too thick.
And so some days I just disappeared off the grid altogether for a while.
It was ok to pause.
It was ok to take some time away, to let the deadlines slip, to watch the world sliding by, to hold those dear to me close, to step back and not be part of it all for a while.
Because what I realised moving through the shock, the numbness, the fog, is that nothing really matters in our lives other than our own happiness and the happiness of the people we love.
Being late again, missing out on that promotion, watching the train sail by that you should have been on, being cut up on the road, not being chosen for an assignment, missing a deadline, not winning an award, that row over nothing much, the yogurt that you forgot and exploded in the fridge, toddler poo on the floor, dust on the shelves.
None of it actually matters. Not REALLY.
Of course, people say this all the time don’t they. But now I’m not just aware of it at the edge of my mind, now I own it.
And so I return, full circle, to what also matters to me. To my purpose, my passion. To sharing my experiences with you my friends, to help us all on the beautiful, messy journey to our own personal joy.
If you’re struggling to get through today, for whatever reason, if it all feels too much, if the darkness is clouding your view and the fog won’t lift from your mind, please give yourself permission to pause.
Let it all go, just for a while, and focus on YOU.
Because if you need it, you deserve it. And the world will still be waiting when you return.
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