What are the two key things you need in order to become successful and hit your biggest goals?

So today’s episode is for you if you’ve been struggling to hit your goals or to see the success in your life or work that you’d hoped for. I’m going to be unpacking two key things you need and how to get them, PLUS there’s an exciting announcement coming up towards the end of the show too that you’re not going to want to miss.

When clients come to me, they often say that the thing they’re missing in their life, the thing they need most to get back on track or to hit their goals, is confidence. But I know without a shadow of a doubt from my personal journey, that confidence ISN’T the main thing we need to get that kick-started, there are two other things that we need WAAAAY more than that.

And I want to share them with you on today’s episode.


Want to listen to more episodes? You’ll find them all here



You’re listening to The Ideal Life Club podcast episode 57 - what are the two key things you need in order to become successful and hit your biggest goals? Let’s find out.

Hey there, Michelle here and welcome back to The Ideal Life Club Podcast.

So today’s episode is for you if you’ve been struggling to hit your goals or to see the success in your life or work that you’d hoped for. I’m going to be unpacking two key things you need and how to get them, PLUS there’s an exciting announcement coming up towards the end of the show too that you’re not going to want to miss.

Now before we started with this mini-training episode, if you’ve been listening to the show for a while now you likely know a bit about my background and why I’m passionate about helping business owners to feel freaking proud of themselves again in their work AND their life. But we’ve had some new listeners joining us recently, so if you’ll indulge me, I just wanted to take a moment to say a big welcome to the podcast and just share a little bit about me for those of you who DON’T know me.

So I’m a business and life coach, author, online course creator and I live here in the UK in a 16th century barn that has more holes than a cheese grater with my husband Stewart, my two kids and four crazy Indian runner ducks. If you’re following me on Instagram you’ll have seen a post from me recently with three things my ducks have taught me about business so, yeah, they’re pretty much a fixture in our lives. Life is good and while I’ve had to work hard over the last 10 years to get where I am today, I do feel blessed and so grateful for all that I have.

But here’s the thing, it’s not always been that way for me. I know what it’s like to not understand how things got so turned upside down, to feel lost and overwhelmed and to wish I could just make a fresh start. 10 years ago I went from a successful career in marketing working for major household names to not being able to get out of bed in the morning. I was living in China as an expat, dealing with severe birth trauma after the premature birth of our baby daughter, Amelia, and an epidural that didn’t fully work, which led to postpartum depression and me frankly being unable to deal with everyday life. I was completely overwhelmed and after an intervention led me to therapy I managed to get from non-functioning to functioning but I needed so much more than that. I was determined that I was going to get back on my feet, to become the woman I was before. I needed to do that for myself, for my husband and to be a role model for my baby daughter.

And that’s where my journey of personal development began, and after I discovered the step by step process to rediscover my inner fire, to reignite my passion for life, I realized that my journey was also my purpose - to help other people take back control and start living THEIR ideal life, to become the person THEY want to be, to start creating success on THEIR terms.

When clients come to me, they often say that the thing they’re missing in their life, the thing they need most to get back on track or to hit their goals, is confidence. But I know without a shadow of a doubt from my personal journey, that confidence ISN’T the main thing we need to get that kick-started, there are two other things that we need WAAAAY more than that. And I want to share them with you on today’s episode.

So I’m going to begin with a question for you - have you ever said to yourself “I just need more confidence and then I’ll be able to launch my business, be more visible, get that promotion?” Have you said to yourself “I just need more confidence and then I’ll start that training plan, set better boundaries, step out, and to those live videos?”

“I just need more confidence” is actually one of the biggest lies that we tell ourselves. Now, we don’t mean to do this of course, it’s just that confidence is such a buzz word, we honestly believe it’s the secret ingredient we’re missing. But in actual fact confidence is a by-product.

To hit our goals and become more successful in our work and our lives, we need to move from our comfort zone where everything ticks along quite nicely, into our growth zone which is where ALL our personal and professional development happens.

And despite what you might think, you don’t need confidence to make that step - you need two other things.

The first of those things is CLARITY. Clarity says I know who I am and why I do what I do. Clarity says I’m crystal clear about my ideal life vision and I act with intention every day to move towards it. Clarity says I honor my commitments to myself and say NO to things that don’t align with who I am. Clarity says I may have to move to plan B or even C but I’m not afraid to make mistakes because I know the path to my success isn’t a straight line and every misstep along the way is just a zig-zag on my journey.

With all the roles we play in our lives and work and a dizzying number of things competing for our attention, from social media to the minutiae of our everyday lives it’s no wonder that we struggle with CLARITY.

But there are also internal reasons why we struggle with clarity. We want to be nice, we want to fit in, we’re influenced by other people’s visions of what success looks like. Sometimes it’s just easier to believe in getting by, instead of actively creating our lives, sometimes we don’t want to experience the discomfort that comes with making change.

But when we don’t have clarity it’s like going on a journey without a compass. We’ll end up somewhere for sure, but it won’t necessarily be where we want to be, where we were aiming for. Now importantly, having clarity doesn’t always mean knowing HOW you’re going to get where you want to go. But it DOES mean you know where you are now, where you want to get to and why that’s important to you.

So let’s do an exercise to help create that compass by assessing the different areas of your life that matter most to you where you are right now in relation to each of them. We play many roles in our lives and they don’t exist in isolation from each other. If we’re feeling unfulfilled at work, it can have a knock-on effect on our relationships at home. If we’re not honoring our bodies with healthy habits it can impact on our sleep and our ability to work and play.

In an ideal world all areas of our lives would be in balance but in reality, of course, this isn’t always possible and there are always areas that we can grow and develop in. Having clarity in those areas helps us know where we need to move out of our comfort zone and into our growth zone. But how do we do that?

One exercise that I like to use with my coaching clients for this is The Clarity Wheel. It’s basically a circle divided into 8 segments with each segment representing an area of our lives - emotional, spiritual, work and business, physical health, fun and relaxation, friends and family, financial, and finally mindset.

Now I know you’re likely listening to this episode while you’re doing something else like working out or pottering around the house or garden, so don’t worry if you don’t have a pen and paper to hand, because I’ve got your back. You can download my Clarity Wheel Workbook, a copy of the exact exercise I do with my clients, and that I’m going to be walking you through now, on the show notes page at michellereevescoaching.com/listen. So you can pause this episode now and go ahead and download it to follow along or just download it in your own time.

Ok, so back to the exercise. What you’re going to do is take each segment in turn and give yourself a score based on your satisfaction, success and happiness level in that area of your life on a scale of 0 to 10. So the very center of the wheel would be zero and the outer rim would be 10.

So to give you an example, if from a financial point of view you really don’t feel satisfied, perhaps you’re struggling with debt or finances is something that you don’t really have a handle on, you might give yourself a low number. Whereas to use that same example, if you were clear on all areas of your incomings and outgoings, you have a retirement plan, you’re saving regularly, you’re satisfied in those areas, then you might give yourself a 9 or 10.

If you do that for each segment of the wheel, and it’s worth saying here that I want you to be totally honest with yourself and let go of any judgment while you’re doing it, you’ll end up with a score for each area. The lowest scoring areas are an indication of where you need to focus your attention. They are the NORTH on your compass - leading you in to your growth zone.

So I’ve said that we don’t need confidence to step over that line between our comfort zone and our growth zone. The first thing we need is CLARITY - that crystal clear vision of where we want to get to. So what is the second thing we need?

The second thing is COURAGE.

Because as we move between our comfort zone and our growth zone it’s challenging! Reality kicks in and it gets messy! The messy middle between these two zones is where fear sits, it’s where doubt sits, it’s where judgment sits, it’s where the possibility of failure sits.

And we often think it’s the situation we’re in that creates that fear, that doubt, that possibility of failure But that isn’t the case. If you’re a regular listener here you’ll have heard me say this before, that it’s not the situation we’re in that makes us feel fear or sadness, self-doubt or frustration. It’s the thoughts we have ABOUT that situation and the story our mind weaves those thoughts into which triggers the emotions, actions and ultimately the results and success we have in our lives and our work.

And if those thoughts are negative then the story our mind tells us can send us diving straight for a bucket of Ben & Jerry’s with Netflix on repeat. Because those thoughts can lead us to QUIT. To quit our dreams of success, our goals, our plans.

But what if, when we get stuck in that messy middle between our comfort zone and our growth zone, we could call on COURAGE to help us through it? The courage to go out there and try something brand new even with the possibility that it could fail. The courage to face our fears, tame our negative thoughts and choose the thoughts that serve us instead? How amazing would that feel?

But how do we get that courage? Guess what, we were born with it. When a baby decides it’s time to start walking and go get that cookie over there on the counter, she doesn’t worry what the other babies in the room might think of her. She doesn’t worry that she might fail. She doesn’t know anything about failure so she just goes for it! And when she does fall down, which she will, she doesn’t say “well I’m clearly not cut out for walking, I’m just not a walker.” No! She gets up and tries again and again. And the beautiful thing about that whole process is that as she falls down and gets back up she is building the very muscles she needs to be able to walk with competence.

The thing is that as we move through our lives that innate courage gets covered over with layers of doubt, from experiences that didn’t meet our expectations and from things that influential people in our lives say to us.

So how can we tap into that innate courage that lies deep within us? Well you know I’m all about practical steps my friend, so here are 5 steps you can start practicing today.

The first is to switch off fear by getting curious. When we switch our mindset to curiosity it allows our minds to start asking questions. So ask yourself “what is really going on here?” “What if the opposite of what I’m thinking was true?”

The second step is to release the pressure of perfection that we so often put on ourselves by taking those questions and turning them into experiments. Trying things out, seeing what works and what doesn’t. But not being wedded to any sort of success. We’re just going to see what happens IF.

For step three we’re going to break down any actions we take into the smallest possible steps we can. When we try to step too far out of our comfort zone in one go it can be too much for our survival brain to deal with. We need to take small steps, tiny steps because those don’t feel like danger to our survival brain, those don’t feel like we’re stretching too far, those don’t feel like we’re jumping into potential failure which is so scary for our survival brain, whose main job is to protect us. Small steps stop our survival brain from switching on that flight or fight response which stops us in our tracks. And small steps still climb the mountain.

Ok let’s move on to stop four. As I mentioned earlier our thoughts ultimately create our reality so it’s really important that we choose those thoughts wisely, that we become aware of how our thoughts impact on our emotions, our behaviors and ultimately our results. The right thoughts can empower us and tap into our inner courage. That awareness is key.

And finally, step five is to follow a system so you don’t waste time and effort and you minimize the potential for missteps. When you have strategies laid out step by step to help you overcome the challenges that you’ll face along the path to success it makes it so much easier to get started and keep going. When I created my own step by step system it was a game-changer for me because I made it part of my daily routine and just followed it every day.

Now you may already be thinking of a system you could follow or you may be wondering what system might work best for you, to help you not only get the clarity and courage you need but to take those two things and add more strategies that will help you get unstuck and moving forward.

And here’s where I have something really exciting to share with you. But first let me take you back about 18 months ago when I connected with Ruth and Kuda, the founders of This Is My Era and the creators of the 90-day planner that I use every day in my business. I loved the whole ethos behind This Is My Era straight away, not only because personal development is at the very heart of everything they do, but because the sale of all their products helps to send underprivileged children to school so that they can begin their OWN development journey. So good.

So Ruth and Kuda and I got talking and we realized that we had the same mission. To help people to reach their biggest dreams, to set stretching goals and achieve them, to create a vision for their lives that truly excites them, and then create realistic plans to get them there.

And over time a seed was sown that has now blossomed into something I’m so excited about sharing with you - a brand new learning platform called the This Is My Era Academy. And the very first program in the Academy will help you take what you’ve learned today to the next level.

Imagine if you could hit control, alt, delete in your life and business and start over. Imagine that you could start over, fresh and set a new foundation to grow and move forward from. How would that feel? Pretty good, right?

And that’s why the first program we’re launching in The Academy will help you to do just that. It’s the complete system to go from clarity to courage. A scientifically-backed self-paced online program with videos, workbooks and all the resources you need - including access to me - to clear the clutter from your life and business and power forward. And it’s called REBOOT YOUR LIFE.

This program is for you if you want to

* Create clarity for you, based on your values and the things that matter in your life, not based on what others think should matter more

* Clear the mental and emotional clutter that fogs your mind and soul thanks to everyone else’s expectations on you, your fears, and emotions that shield your true vision

* Generate ENERGY in your life by identifying what’s dragging you down and helping you make choices that more easily put an end to those habits

* Find and grasp your Mojo again by understanding where procrastination and other demotivators are sabotaging you

* Plant seeds of awesome inspiration that help you take action over the next three months and

* Create brand new habits that will keep your momentum rolling as you nurture those seeds to grow healthy and strong

I’m so excited about this program because it uses the exact steps I used to turn my own life around. From getting crystal clear on ALL areas of your life, business and patterns of business that need a reboot in module 1 to clearing away the physical, mental and emotional clutter and getting rid of the ‘shoulds’ and frustrations that are holding you back. From identifying the energy zappers standing between you and your inner power and finally creating a step-by-step plan to get you through the messy middle between your comfort zone and your growth zone, to discovering how to ignite your motivation mojo so you never get held back by your survival brain again.

And what I’m most excited about is that for a limited time the introductory price of the Reboot Your Life program is just $97. Now you can binge-watch the whole program but even if you just worked through it daily for four weeks that’s 6 modules, 20 video tutorials, workbooks and checklists, the support of an online community, AND access to me for less than $4 a day.

This is the most comprehensive online program I’ve ever created and I can’t wait to welcome you into it and help you build a clear plan to get you from where you are now to where you most want to be. So here’s what you need to do - head over to michellereevescoaching.com/rebootyourlife and you can literally get started right away.

Ok, that’s it from me today - thank you SO much for tuning in, I know your time is valuable and I really appreciate you taking the time to join me. I’ll be back with another episode next week but before I go, if you liked this episode, it would mean the world to me if you would comment, subscribe and leave a review on iTunes - it really does mean that more amazing women will be able to find the show.

In the meantime, until next time,...be positive, be powerful, be productive… and keep fast-tracking your Ideal Life.

Bye for now!