Is one of these common psychological drivers holding you back in your business?

Hey there friends, today I want to talk about drivers.  Not the guy behind the wheel of that gorgeous convertible you wish you had in your garage, but three common psychological drivers that can stop you from hitting your biggest goals in your life and work, how to recognize them AND how to stop them from stopping you. 

When I was first starting out in my coaching business I really struggled with taking time off. 

Whenever I booked a day off in my calendar to chill out, I felt a bit anxious. My inner ‘boss’ got all up inside my head saying “You can’t take a day off. You’ve got too much to do!” and I almost cancelled. Does that resonate with you?

Thankfully I recognised that one of my psychological ‘drivers’ had sprung into action and was trying to hold me back, and I was able to stop it from stopping me take that all-important mental time-out.

The thing is, most of us have one or more of these drivers working against us, but we’re usually unaware of them. These drivers create the exact opposite of what we want in our life and work – whether that’s getting more visible in our businesses going live to promote our new offer, launching a podcast or pressing send on that email campaign OR stepping our of our comfort zone in other ways like starting a new hobby or finally committing to that 5k we’ve promised ourselves we’ll train for. 

They can damage our feelings, our relationships, our self-esteem, and even our health. And they can wreak havoc with our businesses. But when we recognise the drivers for what they are, that awareness can help us to tame them and lessen their impact.

In this episode I’m going to focus on three of those drivers:  the Hurry Up Driver, the Be Perfect Driver, and the Be Strong Driver.

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Transcript:

MICHELLE: You’re listening to The Ideal Life Club podcast episode 63 - is one of these common psychological drivers holding you back in your business?

INTRO

MICHELLE: Hey there friends, Michelle here and welcome back to the show. Today I want to talk about drivers. Not the guy behind the wheel of that gorgeous convertible you wish you had in your garage, but three common psychological drivers that can stop you from hitting your biggest goals in your life and work, how to recognize them AND how to stop them from stopping you.

But before we get started, have you ever wondered what it might be like to have a podcast just like this one to build your brand and promote your business? If you have you probably know that podcasting is one of the fastest-growing content platforms out there and that podcast listeners consume a higher percentage of content than any social media channel. But you might also have put it off because you’re not sure how to get started. If that resonates with you then I have some exciting news.

My online program, practical podcasting for beginners, is now enrolling and I’ve already seen one of students launch into the top 100 on iTunes in her niche. With step by step videos covering all aspects of creating and launching your podcast plus access to me for help and support when you need it even if technology isn’t your BFF (yup I see you and I’ve got your back on that). What could a podcast do for your business? Find out more and get started today at michellereevescoaching.com/podcastcourse

OK back to today’s show
When I was first starting out in my coaching business I really struggled with taking time off.

Whenever I booked a day off in my calendar to chill out, I felt a bit anxious. My inner ‘boss’ got all up inside my head saying “You can’t take a day off. You’ve got too much to do!” and I almost cancelled. Does that resonate with you?

Thankfully I recognised that one of my psychological ‘drivers’ had sprung into action and was trying to hold me back, and I was able to stop it from stopping me take that all-important mental time-out.

The thing is, most of us have one or more of these drivers working against us, but we’re usually unaware of them. These drivers create the exact opposite of what we want in our life and work - whether that’s getting more visible in our businesses going live to promote our new offer, launching a podcast or pressing send on that email campaign OR stepping our of our comfort zone in other ways like starting a new hobby or finally committing to that 5k we’ve promised ourselves we’ll train for.

They can damage our feelings, our relationships, our self-esteem, and even our health. And they can wreak havoc with our businesses. But when we recognise the drivers for what they are, that awareness can help us to tame them and lessen their impact.

In this episode I’m going to focus on three of those drivers: the hurry up driver, the be perfect driver, and the be strong driver.

So let’s kick off with The Hurry Up Driver.

The Hurry Up driver pushes us to do more and more, faster and faster. Never satisfied with what we’ve accomplished so far, this driver becomes a trap that makes us impatient with ourselves and others.

It can make us less productive at work by setting tight deadlines that we either can’t meet or that we can only meet at the risk of our health and relationships. It can stop us from taking time out, exercising or enjoying the ‘unproductive’ things we love in life.

It makes us juggle multiple things at once, add to our to-do lists until they’re as long as our arms and leads us to wonder why there is never enough time to get everything done.

It joins forces with our fear of missing out (FOMO) to remind us that everyone else is already way ahead of us and that we need to push-on regardless of our needs for down-time, sleep and self-care.

If you look around you can probably see evidence of this driver all around you. People are in a hurry regardless of what they're in a hurry about!

So what can we do when the Hurry Up driver gets behind our mental ‘wheel’?

We can recognise that sure enough, more haste often means less speed, causing us to make impulsive, inaccurate decisions that will only create problems for us (or our business) in the long run. We can remind ourselves that having realistic deadlines and taking time out makes us MORE productive when we’re working, because we’re properly rested and in the right headspace.

And we can promise ourselves that the gift of patience and self-care really is a gift that keeps on giving, enabling us to fill up our own ‘cups’ so that we can then let them overspill into the rest of our world.

The second driver likes to swing into action whenever we try to get more visible, put something out into the world or take massive action in our businesses.

Remember back to the last royal wedding? I have to admit I was glued to the tv for the whole thing and I thought Megan was the picture of a strong, confident woman living her ideal life!

But there was a nasty undercurrent on social media… comments about her dress, that she shouldn’t have walked herself up the aisle, that there were things about the ceremony people didn’t like… for some it wasn’t perfect enough.

Say hello to the ‘Be Perfect’ Driver.

This driver thrives on the idea that we, other people and situations should be perfect and it’s pervasive in our society.

We’re raised to do the best we can in everything – school, sports, personal relationships and careers. We’re rewarded for being above-average in just about every area of our lives virtually from the time we’re born.

This can create a deep need to be perfect for many reasons – to gain affection from loved ones, to gain approval from our peers and those we see as authority figures, and to wait until everything is just right before we step up and out.

We’re also bombarded with images of perfection constantly in the media; the perfect family life, the perfect car, the perfect food, perfume, wife, mother… and while we know down inside that this is airbrushed advertising, it can still seep into our subconscious.

Sometimes, if we don't think we can be perfect, we do nothing at all. We don’t want to let ourselves down and if we never quite manage to follow through on a goal or complete a task because we don’t consider it ‘perfect’ enough, then there’s no risk that other people will think it’s not perfect either.

Letting go of the ‘Be Perfect’ driver can be tricky (I struggled with this one for a long time and being totally honest with you friends, I still do from time to time) but when you see how much more productive you can be, you'll be amazed! It's not about not striving to do a great job – it's about realising when the job is done so you can move on to the next task, rather than using perfection as an excuse to procrastinate and lose all your momentum.

Remember: no one is perfect at everything, most of us are generally less-than-perfect at most things (I know I am). It's okay to be less-than-perfect, it's okay to be human, and it's okay to make mistakes. And done is better than perfect.

The third driver is the ‘Be Strong’ Driver.

The Be Strong Driver hates weakness! She is quick to scold us when we think about asking for help and reminds us that we should be able to do everything ourselves - after all, everyone knows how to do that, right?

She also feels uncomfortable whenever we show vulnerability, seeing it as a weakness (when in fact it can one of our biggest shows of strength) and she scoffs at us for showing our true feelings.

If the Be Strong driver shows up in your business, remind her that trying to being ‘strong’ all the time can hold you both back, that it’s perfectly ok to ask for help from others and that showing our emotions and vulnerability can help us to create an emotional connection with our customers.

So friends, do you recognise any of these drivers in your life? If you do, that’s awesome because the first step to stopping them from holding you back is to acknowledge that they’re influencing you in the first place. Once you see that influence, you can change it.

For each of the drivers think through what situations they show up in for you most strongly. Make a commitment to yourself that you’ll take one step this week to stop them from stopping you. And I would LOVE it you left me a comment or dropped me a DM on Facebook or Instagram to let me know so I can hold you accountable!

Ok, that’s it from me today - thank you SO much for tuning in, I know your time is valuable and I really appreciate you taking the time to join me. I’ll be back with another episode soon but before I go I would LOVE you to join us in The Ideal Life Club Facebook Community, a supportive space I’ve created on Facebook for ambitious women who want to grow THEMSELVES as well as their business. To find out more and join us head over to michellereevescoaching.com/ideallifeclub.

And hey, if you liked this episode, would you do me a favour? Would you head over to iTunes and leave me a comment and review? It really does mean that more listeners will be able to find the show.

In the meantime, until next time,...be positive, be powerful, be productive, stay safe… and keep fast-tracking your Ideal business AND Life.

Bye for now.
MICHELLE: You’re listening to The Ideal Life Club podcast episode 63 - is one of these common psychological drivers holding you back in your business?

INTRO

MICHELLE: Hey there friends, Michelle here and welcome back to the show. Today I want to talk about drivers. Not the guy behind the wheel of that gorgeous convertible you wish you had in your garage, but three common psychological drivers that can stop you from hitting your biggest goals in your life and work, how to recognize them AND how to stop them from stopping you.

But before we get started, have you ever wondered what it might be like to have a podcast just like this one to build your brand and promote your business? If you have you probably know that podcasting is one of the fastest-growing content platforms out there and that podcast listeners consume a higher percentage of content than any social media channel. But you might also have put it off because you’re not sure how to get started. If that resonates with you then I have some exciting news.

My online program, practical podcasting for beginners, is now enrolling and I’ve already seen one of students launch into the top 100 on iTunes in her niche. With step by step videos covering all aspects of creating and launching your podcast plus access to me for help and support when you need it even if technology isn’t your BFF (yup I see you and I’ve got your back on that). What could a podcast do for your business? Find out more and get started today at michellereevescoaching.com/podcastcourse

OK back to today’s show
When I was first starting out in my coaching business I really struggled with taking time off.

Whenever I booked a day off in my calendar to chill out, I felt a bit anxious. My inner ‘boss’ got all up inside my head saying “You can’t take a day off. You’ve got too much to do!” and I almost cancelled. Does that resonate with you?

Thankfully I recognised that one of my psychological ‘drivers’ had sprung into action and was trying to hold me back, and I was able to stop it from stopping me take that all-important mental time-out.

The thing is, most of us have one or more of these drivers working against us, but we’re usually unaware of them. These drivers create the exact opposite of what we want in our life and work - whether that’s getting more visible in our businesses going live to promote our new offer, launching a podcast or pressing send on that email campaign OR stepping our of our comfort zone in other ways like starting a new hobby or finally committing to that 5k we’ve promised ourselves we’ll train for.

They can damage our feelings, our relationships, our self-esteem, and even our health. And they can wreak havoc with our businesses. But when we recognise the drivers for what they are, that awareness can help us to tame them and lessen their impact.

In this episode I’m going to focus on three of those drivers: the hurry up driver, the be perfect driver, and the be strong driver.

So let’s kick off with The Hurry Up Driver.

The Hurry Up driver pushes us to do more and more, faster and faster. Never satisfied with what we’ve accomplished so far, this driver becomes a trap that makes us impatient with ourselves and others.

It can make us less productive at work by setting tight deadlines that we either can’t meet or that we can only meet at the risk of our health and relationships. It can stop us from taking time out, exercising or enjoying the ‘unproductive’ things we love in life.

It makes us juggle multiple things at once, add to our to-do lists until they’re as long as our arms and leads us to wonder why there is never enough time to get everything done.

It joins forces with our fear of missing out (FOMO) to remind us that everyone else is already way ahead of us and that we need to push-on regardless of our needs for down-time, sleep and self-care.

If you look around you can probably see evidence of this driver all around you. People are in a hurry regardless of what they're in a hurry about!

So what can we do when the Hurry Up driver gets behind our mental ‘wheel’?

We can recognise that sure enough, more haste often means less speed, causing us to make impulsive, inaccurate decisions that will only create problems for us (or our business) in the long run. We can remind ourselves that having realistic deadlines and taking time out makes us MORE productive when we’re working, because we’re properly rested and in the right headspace.

And we can promise ourselves that the gift of patience and self-care really is a gift that keeps on giving, enabling us to fill up our own ‘cups’ so that we can then let them overspill into the rest of our world.

The second driver likes to swing into action whenever we try to get more visible, put something out into the world or take massive action in our businesses.

Remember back to the last royal wedding? I have to admit I was glued to the tv for the whole thing and I thought Megan was the picture of a strong, confident woman living her ideal life!

But there was a nasty undercurrent on social media… comments about her dress, that she shouldn’t have walked herself up the aisle, that there were things about the ceremony people didn’t like… for some it wasn’t perfect enough.

Say hello to the ‘Be Perfect’ Driver.

This driver thrives on the idea that we, other people and situations should be perfect and it’s pervasive in our society.

We’re raised to do the best we can in everything – school, sports, personal relationships and careers. We’re rewarded for being above-average in just about every area of our lives virtually from the time we’re born.

This can create a deep need to be perfect for many reasons – to gain affection from loved ones, to gain approval from our peers and those we see as authority figures, and to wait until everything is just right before we step up and out.

We’re also bombarded with images of perfection constantly in the media; the perfect family life, the perfect car, the perfect food, perfume, wife, mother… and while we know down inside that this is airbrushed advertising, it can still seep into our subconscious.

Sometimes, if we don't think we can be perfect, we do nothing at all. We don’t want to let ourselves down and if we never quite manage to follow through on a goal or complete a task because we don’t consider it ‘perfect’ enough, then there’s no risk that other people will think it’s not perfect either.

Letting go of the ‘Be Perfect’ driver can be tricky (I struggled with this one for a long time and being totally honest with you friends, I still do from time to time) but when you see how much more productive you can be, you'll be amazed! It's not about not striving to do a great job – it's about realising when the job is done so you can move on to the next task, rather than using perfection as an excuse to procrastinate and lose all your momentum.

Remember: no one is perfect at everything, most of us are generally less-than-perfect at most things (I know I am). It's okay to be less-than-perfect, it's okay to be human, and it's okay to make mistakes. And done is better than perfect.

The third driver is the ‘Be Strong’ Driver.

The Be Strong Driver hates weakness! She is quick to scold us when we think about asking for help and reminds us that we should be able to do everything ourselves - after all, everyone knows how to do that, right?

She also feels uncomfortable whenever we show vulnerability, seeing it as a weakness (when in fact it can one of our biggest shows of strength) and she scoffs at us for showing our true feelings.

If the Be Strong driver shows up in your business, remind her that trying to being ‘strong’ all the time can hold you both back, that it’s perfectly ok to ask for help from others and that showing our emotions and vulnerability can help us to create an emotional connection with our customers.

So friends, do you recognise any of these drivers in your life? If you do, that’s awesome because the first step to stopping them from holding you back is to acknowledge that they’re influencing you in the first place. Once you see that influence, you can change it.

For each of the drivers think through what situations they show up in for you most strongly. Make a commitment to yourself that you’ll take one step this week to stop them from stopping you. And I would LOVE it you left me a comment or dropped me a DM on Facebook or Instagram to let me know so I can hold you accountable!

Ok, that’s it from me today - thank you SO much for tuning in, I know your time is valuable and I really appreciate you taking the time to join me. I’ll be back with another episode soon but before I go I would LOVE you to join us in The Ideal Life Club Facebook Community, a supportive space I’ve created on Facebook for ambitious women who want to grow THEMSELVES as well as their business. To find out more and join us head over to michellereevescoaching.com/ideallifeclub.

And hey, if you liked this episode, would you do me a favour? Would you head over to iTunes and leave me a comment and review? It really does mean that more listeners will be able to find the show.

In the meantime, until next time,...be positive, be powerful, be productive, stay safe… and keep fast-tracking your Ideal business AND Life.

Bye for now.


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