Do you sometimes find your emotions overwhelming?
If so, today’s episode of the podcast is for you – and you’re not alone. If you’re anything like me, you’ve likely been dealing with a ton of emotions over the months we’ve been living with the Covid 19 pandemic.
Having the tools to manage our emotions in a healthy way is important for all of us and my guest today Nadia O’Boye has brought along a toolbox of tips to help us become more conscious of our emotions and how to manage them in the best way so they don’t end up overwhelming us.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're listening to the ideal life club podcast, episode 65, how to process your emotions without resisting them.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Hey there, friends, Michelle here and welcome back to the show. It's been a hot minute. Since the last episode I've been busy in the background, working with the team at this is my era on some really exciting for decks that I can't wait to say with you. Thank you for your lovely messages. Checking in on me. I appreciate the love so much, but back to today's show, which is for you. If you're anything like me and you've been dealing with a ton of emotions over the months, we've been living with the COVID-19 pandemic. Having the tools to manage our emotions in a healthy way is important for all of us and my guest today, Nadia, Oh boy, it has brought along a toolbox of tips to help us become more conscious of our emotions and how to manage them in the best way so that they don't end up overwhelming us in our chat today.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Nadia shares how to acknowledge and accept emotions rather than trying to control them, how to process emotions and use the right language to do that. How to put a space between our emotions and our responses to make sure we respond in the way that we want to, how to identify and acknowledge the triggers for emotions and fantastic step by step process to help us manage our emotions and begin believing in ourselves again. But before we get started, have you ever wondered what it might be like to have a podcast just like this one to promote your business? If you have, you might also have put it off because you're not sure how to get started. If that resonates with you. Then my online program, practical podcasting for beginners is for you. In fact, we've already seen one of our students launched into the top 100 on iTunes in her niche with step-by-step videos, covering all aspects of creating and launching your first podcast, plus access to me for help and support when you need it. Even if technology isn't your best friend yet, I see you. And I've got your back on that. What could a podcast do for your business? Find out more and get the first two modules of the course completely email@example.com forward slash podcast free that's [inaudible] coaching.com forward slash podcast free. Okay.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
That's today's show and my chat with
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Speaker 3 (03:09):
So today guys, I have a treat for you because I have Nadya Oh boy, here joining me confidence coach for female entrepreneurs, and we have some great content for you. I can't wait to dive in, but first of all, Nadia, welcome to the show. Please go ahead and tell us a bit about your journey because you haven't always been a confidence coach. No, unfortunately I haven't. Um, so I actually started my career in marketing. I, um, I actually did a degree in psychology. I loved psychology, anything to do with learning about people. Um, I didn't really have an idea of what I wanted to do when I left uni and I fell into a marketing role, um, which was great. You know, I learned a lot. I met a lot of people. I Rose up the ladder quite quickly and ended up with quite a high powered job in marketing.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Um, however, through all the years I had always just had this feeling that I wanted more. And I always knew that I never wanted to be a marketing director or a vice president of marketing. That was never my ambition. And that's when I kind of knew this wasn't going to be my career for forever. Um, throughout my journey in the marketing world, I'd always been trying to do things on the side. So I had tried everything, um, setting up at C shops, um, filling in surveys, you know, all sorts of things to try and help me escape. I suppose, this, this corporate marketing world that I'd found myself in. And I was just constantly trying to figure out, you know, what's next for me. And I obviously wasn't happy. Um, and that led me to explore a little bit more within, within my career and really just try and find out what I wanted to do.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
And I always knew I wanted to work for myself. That was always one thing because freedom and not having to answer to anyone else was always very important to me. And I really looked up to all those people that had their own business and were doing great things and could see them on Instagram, you know, having their own businesses. And I just thought it was great and I wanted that to be me. So, um, I was just trying to figure out what I wanted to do. And as I said, I tried lots of things to kind of get money, to allow me to leave my quite well paid job. But what I realize now is that I wasn't actually finding things that were aligned with actually what was important to me. And when I actually stumbled upon, um, a course, I think it was a course about how start your business or something.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
So I've got reading into that and I just came across coaching and some other coaches that were in that program. And then I started to delve a bit deeper and obviously anyone who's a coach out there will know that it's, it's very much pin to psychology in a lot of respects. It uses a lot of the same concepts. And as I said, I did psychology at uni and I loved it. So it peaked my interest. And the more I found out about coaching, the more I was just hooked and finding out about how we can change our thoughts and manage our emotions to make sure that we're achieving the results that we want to. It really just had me hooked. And yeah, so I looked into coaching, I got my life coach qualification, did lots of courses, met lots of people. And that led me to where I am now
Speaker 4 (06:51):
Such a great story. And so their knee parallels with, with, um, you know, other coaches I've spoken to, who've started off in the corporate world and it's, you know, it's been great for a period of time, but it's just not been quite right for whatever reason. And you know, I did psychology at university as well. And I think when you've done that, and you start to delve a little bit into, you know, the workings of our amazing mind and, and how often our brain holds us back without us even realizing it. You know, if that's kind of an area of interest, coaching just feels right,
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Right. Doesn't it, it really does. And even though I did that degree in psychology, so I had to kind of understanding, um, it was obviously a long time ago. And when I delved back into my coaching and, and all these different techniques that we can use to control our mind, I just, it, it blew my mind after. And I just thought everyone should know this. Everyone needs to have access to this information because gosh, if I'd have known about this in, in each kind of truthful, when I was 20, my life may have gone down a different road and I've not had a bad life. Like I said, my marketing career, it allowed me to buy my house. It allowed me to have some great experiences, but I know I was never happy. And for a long time I felt trapped. I felt like this is my life.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
And I just have to deal with it. These are the cons that I've been dealt. And I honestly thought it was out of my control because I just have to carry on down this path now. And when you get into coaching and you realize actually that is not the case. You have the power to change exactly how you feel exactly how you think, change your behavior and change your results. I just think that's incredible. And every young woman needs to know that she has the power to be able to make her life the way that she wants to. And that's what really got me hooked and got me thinking, I need to take this out to other people. I want to be able to help other people get the same power and knowledge from all of this stuff that I have.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
That's so, so true. And it's often those, um, kind of emotional responses, isn't it? That we find it so hard to deal with. And I know this is an area that, you know, you're particularly interested. Tell us a little bit about that and how you've delved into kind of the emotional side.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Yeah. So emotions are there the one thing that rule everything. So your behavior, the way you think and the results that you get, as I've said, it's all linked back to emotions. And the crazy thing about emotions is I think half the time we may not even be that conscious of the emotions that we're actually feeling. And that's part of the problem. And when you realize the power that emotions play and the fact that you are not a slave to your emotions, you actually can control them in a way to make sure you get the outcomes that you want, then that just changes everything. It changes what you do in the future. It changes how you deal with your past. It changes what you do in the present. So, um, it's a really important topic and it's something that everyone goes through. Everyone has emotions, whether they're good, bad, indifferent, everybody has them. So for me, it's really important that people know how to manage their emotions in an effective way to be able to get the life that they eventually want once a half, because emotions are probably the number one thing that holds people back.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
Yeah. So really interesting. This is because like you say, often maybe people aren't aware of the impact that the emotions that they have are having on their behaviors and their results. And I'm guessing that's because, um, you know, we have a very quick reaction to those numbers.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Yeah, completely. I think life is so busy and we've all got 1,001 things that we need to do, and we can all appreciate that. We were feeling a certain way. And, but we don't actually give ourselves the time to just sit in that feeling and try and process it and acknowledge it to make sure that we can respond in the right way. So a lot of the time I get clients coming to me saying, um, how do I stop feeling like this? How do I stop feeling scared? How do I stop feeling nervous? How do I stop feeling frustrated? I always say to them, why do you need to stop feeling that way? And they obviously say it because it's holding me back. And initial response is okay, if I'm feeling something unpleasant, I need to stop. I need to not feel like that. And it needs to just move on with my life. I've got things to do. Um, but actually doing that is having a negative effect because you're not processing what you need to, and it means you're responding in a way that hasn't given you the time or the space to actually even understand what you're feeling, um, what you want the outcome of that emotion to actually be.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
That's, that's really interesting. So we're not allowing the space to feel the feelings, I guess, is what you're saying.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we naturally, we don't question ourselves. We don't sit down and think, okay, what am I feeling? Why am I feeling like this? And just allow ourselves to feel that we are so quick to immediately want to make that emotion means some things. So, because you're feeling angry, that must mean that you're a certain type of person that must mean that your not dealing very well with this. People make emotions mean so much. And then it creates this story. And it's actually that, that holds them back and not the actual emotion. When you deal with emotions, you're actually just dealing with, um, it's usually just a physiological feeling in your body. So if I was to ask people, what do you actually feel in your body? When you feel scared, you might get sweaty palms, your heart rate might start to race.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
And that's actually what you're feeling. And you've labeled it with the emotion that you, that you're feeling the SCAD. But if we just sit with those emotions and sit with the actual feeling, it's not that unpleasant. It's a, you know, it's not great. It's not ideal. We don't want to be feeling that all the time, but actually feeling the emotion and what that means physiologically is not unbearable. It's okay. So I always say, it's okay to feel scared. It's okay to feel nervous. It's okay to feel those things because you, you can tolerate that natural feeling of it you can tolerate. And when you learn to be able to sit with negative emotions, that means you can deal with anything, anything that happens in your life, any negative emotion that is that you have to deal with. If you can sit with it, how powerful are you? You can, you can literally deal with anything like has to throw at you. If you learn to be able to sit with those emotions and actually tolerate those slightly unpleasant feelings that you might feel,
Speaker 4 (14:36):
I suppose, that this is the thing, isn't it. And we don't talk about this very often, but anytime something negative happens, I mean, even take,
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Um, you know, the dependent that we're going through as we're recording this episode. So we're, we're still in the midst of COVID-19 in the summer of 2020, um, as we're recording this episode. And so there's a lot of emotion, really high for people at the moment, but it's gonna mean different things for different people, I suppose. And that, I guess that's the whole thing about our emotions is we often don't see that that emotional response we have is just our specific perspective on a situation. Yeah, completely. And I think the pandemic that we're going through at the moment, if you allow yourself to feel what you're feeling and process the emotions, we've all felt worried and scared. And you know, it's been an emotional time, or I've been saying how resilient people are going to be when they come out of this, because they've had to sit through emotions that they may not have even fell as intensely as they had before.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Um, and, and if we've managed to get through that, you know, we're, we're still waking up every day. We're still doing what we need to do, even with all these emotions that we're having to feel because of this pun Delek, and that just builds so much resilience for you. And, you know, the next thing that happens, you will be able to deal with that slightly better because you felt the intense emotions that have come up with the pen pandemic. So it really does make you stronger to just face your emotions, head on and let them be, and stop trying to feel like it's a bad thing that you're feeling that in that way.
Speaker 5 (16:28):
And I guess,
Speaker 3 (16:30):
True, you know what you're saying about us being, I guess, more resilient as we come out the other side of, of this whole situation, but I guess I'm also in order for us to be aware of that it's that consciousness of, um, our emotions, isn't it it's, um, being conscious of those emotions rather than letting them rule us, I suppose. I mean, how do we start to get that awareness? Yeah. It's it takes practice. Um, I think starting to be just mindful of, of everything, your emotions, your feelings what's going on around you really starting to practice. Mindfulness is a great way to get in the practice of noticing when you're starting to feel a certain emotion and mindfulness is, is just being in the present. So even if you're just having a cup of tea at the back door, don't think about anything else.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
Just think about the fact that you are experiencing the smells and the sights and noises and all of those things, and that is really being in the present. So if you can take moments of your day and do that, then when you have a moment where you might be experiencing an intense emotion, if you're more mindful in general, you're going to really notice when that comes up and you'll be able to say, okay, I'm not feeling gray. I'm feeling a bit frustrated. Why do I feel frustrated? Okay. It's okay. You know, you'll just give yourself the space to really process that emotion and also respond to it in the right way. Um, I think you're the part of this is we have these emotions and we think that because we're feeling a certain way, we have to respond in a certain way, but that isn't the truth.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
We get to choose how we respond. So be more mindful catching the emotion, processing it, giving yourself the space means you also have the time to think about how you want to respond and what is going to be the best for you. Most of the time we were, we lucked out and we, we respond to things without thinking and they often make things worse. Ooh, I love that. So I'm just gonna recap that for me, as much as for anyone else becoming more conscious of their emotion. So number one, we need to train our brains to be more aware of the emotion. So mindfulness being present, noticing what's coming up. And then you talked about processing the emotions second and giving yourself time to evaluate that emotion, which leads to the third thing, which is how we respond to those emotions and giving ourselves a chance to choose how we respond. Exactly, exactly. That. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (19:28):
Talk a little bit about, um, how we,
Speaker 3 (19:30):
The kind of process emotion, cause that I think is, is one of the things that it's so difficult for people, because we're just not taught how to do this. I mean, goodness, if we were taught as children, how to process our emotions, we'd be much, we've made much healthier and happier adults, I think. So. Can you give us some tech, um, for how we can sort of evaluate emotions when we start to notice them coming up? Yeah. So, um, I would always, as much as you, you should just let your emotions be and you should not try to resist them. That's the first step do not resist the emotion, let it come in and let it be. The next thing I would say is it's okay to question that emotion. So sometimes when we understand why we're feeling a certain way, we actually, um, decrease the intensity of the emotion that we feel.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
So for example, if someone says something that's upset you and you immediately, your blood starts to boil and you feel this intense anger without processing the emotion, you just feel this, this rage and this anger, if you actually sit down and evaluate it and say, okay, why did that make me so angry and understand the reasons you can start to justify things a little bit more to yourself and you can actually say, okay, that actually wasn't men in that way, I took that the wrong way. Maybe I'm being sensitive and you immediately kind of, it takes away the intensity of what you're feeling when you start to understand the reasons behind why you're feeling that way. So if you can get into that habit, I think that is a really great technique to try and use. And I use that myself all the time because I'm an emotional person.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
I will admit it. And I often have very fast reactions to things. But when I sit down and think about what was sad or what was done and try to understand it from the other person's point of view, it really helps me, I think, okay, this is me choosing to be angry. I don't have to be angry. They didn't, they've not made me angry and choosing to be angry. And it just, um, it just really brings everything back down and gives you again, puts you in the right mindset to then have the space, to just process it and just feel what you need to feel and be mindful and do all the things that we've said and then choose how to respond. Um, so that would be the next thing kind of question and challenge your emotion almost. Um, and then I think learn to really identify what triggers your emotions is, is really helpful.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
If you're hungry or tired or, you know, things may, you may react to things in a certain way. So if you know, you're feeling you're you're in one of those States, then try not to get into situations where, you know, you could have certain intense emotions identifying those triggers is really helpful, um, at being able to just manage things and make sure that you're not overwhelmed, um, about things like that. And then I think just blocking out time, giving yourself time to yourself to let you feel what you need to feel and do all the things that we've said. Um, we're all busy. We're all very busy people and there's a lot now about self care, self love, all that type of thing. And it is really important to just take yourself off, even his, for five minutes, 10 minutes, we all have that as much as we say, we're busy, we all have five or 10 minutes.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
So just sit down and just think about what's going on in your mind, how you're feeling in your body is your heart racing and just become so aware of everything that's going on. And you actually, you can't, you can't successfully evaluate what you're feeling or choose how you respond if you don't give yourself physical time. Um, so that, that's also something that I try and try and say, it's my clients, you know, build in 10 minutes a day, that's just for you to process how you're feeling. Um, and once you into the practice of doing that, it just becomes something you do every day and it can really, really help to make sure that you're choosing how you respond in the right way. And you are not making any situations worse for yourself, such great tips, guys, I'm loving the whole idea of processing these emotions.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
And I think, you know, just, I know I'm getting back to the situation we're in now, but there's so many of us kind of stuck at home. You know, maybe in a situation that's not normal for us to have the same people around us all the time. Maybe kids at home may be partners at home. You know, we're all, you know, not able to go out and do the things we normally do and that can can mean that we get frustrated. I mean, the emotions do get quite high. I guess there's some really good tips here for how to process those emotions. And, um, I'm interested what your perspective is on, um, the way that we, we tend to have expectations. I read somewhere that, you know, it's the expectations that we have on other people that often lead us to feel a particular way, but those expectations are our own expectations.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
And often the other person doesn't even know. So to give you an example, um, you know, I can remember, uh, you know, in the past feeling really frustrated, um, you know, when my husband, you know, didn't maybe do something that I was expecting him to do, but then I realized, well, hang on a second. He doesn't even know that I'm expecting that. So how can I even lay any blame at his door when I haven't even raised that as being something that I want. And often I think as women, we don't, we overburden ourselves because we don't ask for what we need. Would you say that's true, a hundred percent Michelle, honestly, this, this situation comes up time and time again, when something happens and we feel a certain way, we blame that. Or the first thing we say, they've made me feel frustrated. They've made me feel angry.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
And when you blame someone else, you are putting them the control in their hands. And in reality, they have no control over how you feel. This is my favorite, favorite concept. I think in that you have responsibility to how you feel, no event can make you feel a certain way. And I love to use the example of, you know, if a, if my mom came up to me and told me that she hates me, I would feel so upset and awful and terrible. If a complete stranger came up to me and said that they hate me and I wouldn't care that much. And it's the exact same event, but it's the meaning that I pawn to it. That makes me upset. So that's an example of where it's you and your thoughts, that controls how you feel and your emotions. And that's the same. When you say about expectations, your husband, hasn't done something the right way. You're making that mean something you're making that mean. Okay. He's purposefully doing that to ops ops. That means your putting a meaning on that. He's actually not doing anything wrong. So just this concept is that you are in control of how you feel and you get to choose is, is life changing and it makes you look at situations in such a different way. Oh, so true. And I feel like we're giving, giving a bad rap here. Honestly, guys,
Speaker 5 (27:27):
He can do the situation, but it's this whole thing about expectations,
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Isn't it? Where, where did these expectations come from? I'm guessing they're, they're kind of learned over time. We pick them up over time. Yeah. It's um, I think it depends obviously who you're dealing with. Um, but I think like you said, I think it probably comes from how we would, how we would deal with the situation or how we would act. You know, if, if there's a group of friends and one person acts a certain way, and if you wouldn't act that way, you think that's wrong because they haven't acted the way you would. So you do put your own expectations on other people. And I think one of the biggest lessons in life is, you know, don't almost don't have any expectations because expectation, no one's ever going to live up to your expectations cause they aren't in your head and they don't know exactly what you're thinking at all times.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
Um, so yeah, I think we just, we expect everyone to ask the way that we would. And of course that, that just is not the case. So, so true. And I think there's, you know, if we spin this back to you, I know that you work with female entrepreneurs, you know, as business owners, you and I are both business owners. You know, we can give ourselves a world of pain with the expectations that we place on the activities that we do. You know, don't, I mean, I'm thinking even on things like social media and how, um, people respond to social media, you know, as entrepreneurs, you know, we put ourselves out there, maybe we do, it takes a lot of courage for people to start off doing things like live videos or HGTV or Facebook lives or going on to, I don't know, LinkedIn or YouTube or whatever it might be.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
But in, so I, you know, a lot of the emotion that we have about those things, I guess, is tied up with how we expect people to respond. And if we're not getting those responses, like you say, we make it mean something. Is that something that you've been working with clients on? Yes. So, so I'm specifically a confidence coach for female entrepreneurs. And the reason I became a confidence coach was because I just saw such a problem with women in particular, wanting to kind of break out of corporate careers and do something on their own. Um, the lack of confidence is just astounding sometimes. And I think women, you know, there's, there's a lot of, there's a lot of us doing, trying to do the same thing and there's a lot of comparison out there. And if we are doing something and we don't get the same reaction that that other person has got you're right, we make it mean that that means that we're less, or we're not as knowledgeable or we're not as likable and all of these things.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
And when you start to tell your brain that story, that you you're no good, you don't know what you're talking about. All these things, your brain just looks for evidence all around to back that off. Um, and the power of that is quite, is quite incredible. And, and, and I know there's a lot of people that are skeptical about, you know, you need to tell you, tell, you, tell your brain positive things and then everything will be great. It's not quite that clear. Um, but there is, there is sense in it that your brain focuses on what you tell it. So if you're constantly comparing yourself and telling yourself that you're not good enough and you can't do it, um, and you don't believe in yourself, then your brain is just going to find evidence all day long to make sure that that that's cemented in your head.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
Um, and a lot of the work I do initially with female entrepreneurs is getting them to believe in themselves. Because when you start to believe in yourself, then you start to think certain things, then you start to take certain action and then you start to get certain results. So I always say belief is the one thing that actually leads to the results and talking about belief, it's all to do with, you know, the story you're telling yourself, the expectations that you have on yourself, um, how you view your abilities, all that type of stuff. So we do a lot of work on how to actually get yourself to truly, and not just see it for the sake of it. Truly believe that you can do something and you have the ability and you are as good as that person are out there. So it all stems from that from my point of view
Speaker 4 (32:04):
And it, and like you say, and often same when people come to me, um, as, as clients confidence, it can be very, very low, I think, um, particularly, um, with, with women in business. But, um, how, you know, in terms of kind of believing in yourself, like you say, how can we, how can we start to have some of that belief if maybe, um, you know, we haven't had the success that we're looking for. Cause obviously if we've been successful and things have gone well, then that, you know, that kind of boost our confidence, doesn't it, it makes us feel good. We feel more
Speaker 3 (32:40):
Confident. So how can we start having that belief before we've had the success? Yeah. So it's a gradual process. And I w what I do with my clients is I say, okay, tell me your beliefs now. So, so really get clear on what your beliefs are now. Usually they are, I'm not good enough. I can't do this, that life's not for me, those types of things. And rather than jumping straight to a positive, you know, straight from thinking, I can't do this to, I am the best just is not going to work, because it's not something that you can relate to. It's not something that you, you can feasibly believe at that point in time. So get clear on what your beliefs are, and then look for alternative beliefs. So they don't have to be positive, but they just need to be alternative or neutral.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
So going from saying, um, I can't do anything to, I have unique strengths. That's true. That's the fuck. Do you do everyone has their unique strengths. And that's something that you can get your head around and your brain can believe in a, in a realistic way. So just jumping from that initially. So just taking that small step to changing the belief of you can't do anything. So actually you have unique strengths. I think that's a great job. That's to me when I get a client saying, okay, actually I believe that now I do believe that. I think that was amazing. I'm like, wow, what a breakthrough, where a few weeks ago, you didn't think you could do anything. So just take that small step. And then gradually, you know, as you said, that belief, once you've got that belief of, I have unique strengths that will then start to change your thoughts.
Speaker 3 (34:38):
So you might start to think, okay, well, actually I can't offer this to my customers. And then that thought in itself can then go on to influence your action. And that's where it all happens when you start making the action, the right action. That's when you get the results. And then you'll gradually be able to go from, I have unique strengths to something more, more positive, such as, you know, I am extremely capable at doing this, this, this, and this, you know, so you can kind of make those gradual leaves and it is a gradual process. And it's something that requires practice and you need to keep making small action. So you can find evidence to back up those beliefs. And then eventually you get there. I've seen it happen time and time again. And I've seen it happen in myself when I think of where I am now.
Speaker 3 (35:35):
So while I was, you know, even two years ago, it, I mean, it, my mindset is so Bulletproof now, and I literally know that I can do all these things that I've set out to do, whereas before, I mean, you couldn't even get me on a Facebook live. So, you know, it definitely does work. And let's just touch on that for a minute. I mean, such great tips. They're so good. I'm loving this whole step by step process to believe in ourselves, which is so key when we're, you know, when we're putting ourselves out there and trying to be more visible in our businesses particularly now. Um, but let's just talk a bit about your own experience, because I know when you were corporate side, um, and, uh, sorry, I know when you were working with corporates where you started off working with corporates, you, you know, you really struggled yourself with, with emotions and kind of that whole imposter syndrome that we, that we often have.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
Um, tell me a bit about how you managed to overcome that. Yeah, well, it was a long process and although I was very good at my job, I, you know, got promotions. I really did rise up the ranks, but it still wasn't enough to really make me feel confident in my abilities. And, and I, I worked in an industry where people were extremely clinical and they had lots of degrees and they were very scientific. And that in itself used to make me feel so insecure because I didn't have that knowledge. I had, you know, marketing knowledge. I was very good at organizing things. I did events and uncertainty to kind of sit in a room with these people that had all these accolades and everything. It really made me feel very uncomfortable. And I think what really was the turning point for me is when I started to work really closely with CEOs and vice presidents.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
And at first I was terrified, as you can imagine, I thought they're going to know straight away that I'm just this girl that doesn't know anything. And I've don't know anything about science and all these things. And what I quickly understood from, from spending more time with them is that they needed me. They were useless at organizing. They were useless at events. They didn't know anything about marketing. They didn't know anything about people. They didn't know how to deal with people, get the best out of people, which is always something that I've been good at is building relationships. So I spent more time with these people and I really started to hone in on why they needed me and what I, what value I brought. And again, it was a step by step process from go in and thinking, Oh, they're going to think, I don't know anything to actually, they need me to do this event because without me, they would be lost and it's just building up these things.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
And then obviously as I did all these things for them, they would come to me and say, that's great. Can you do this? Can you do that? And it reinforced the, actually I was good at what I did, and I had a lot of value and there was a place for me in that company. And I didn't need to have all the scientific knowledge because that wasn't my job. I don't actually need that knowledge to, to do my job, everything I need to do my job. I have. Um, so yeah, for me, it was, it was like, it was the exposure to what made me uncomfortable that actually led me to have to put in place a process to build up my confidence and really start to become aware of what I actually bought to the table at that point.
Speaker 4 (39:20):
Oh, so good. There's nothing better than hearing the personal story and you know, how you've taken effectively, what you learned from that and how that's become, what you're able to now help other people with. So, so good. Um, Nadia, let's just touch on, you talked a bit about how busy we are, you know, or as, as entrepreneurs, I'm really interested how you find the space to make time to focus on your needs. What does self care look like for you
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Right now? Yes. So I really do try and kind of turn off the laptop at a certain time every day and have that moment. I have those moments where I'm not in front of a screen. Um, you know, there's a lot of time on zoom and emails and phones and everything and what I do. So when I have the opportunity to just completely switch off, turn off all my social media notifications, text messages, all that type of stuff is really important to me because I find my brain just gets overwhelmed and I can almost feel it worrying ground. Um, so I just, I need to have that wind down time. So I can't say I do it after we day, but I definitely try and do it a few nights a week where I, I purposefully actually shovel it into my calendar. I actually put, you know, eight till 10 on this night.
Speaker 3 (40:50):
It is just me time. And for me, that works, I planning everything. So even if it's chill out time, I plumb my end because then I know I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll do it. Um, a good technique actually find is if you do plan it in, so say you you'll start your day on and one day, and you've got a thousand things you need to do. If you already know on one day morning, that eight o'clock at night for nine o'clock is your time to just go and chill, you know, have a bath, whatever it is you choose to do. If you already know that on Monday morning gives you brain time to just get your head around that. And it also allows you to plan the rest of your day to make sure you can still to that commitment. And it makes you work in a certain way to make sure you still have that time puts it as a non negotiable on your calendar, which is what I've had to do because I wasn't getting it done otherwise.
Speaker 3 (41:47):
So just like all the appointments you put in, treat your self care as an, an appointment as well. Oh, I totally love that guys make self care, a non negotiable. And I always love to say self care is not selfish. It is sustenance and we need it to fuel us. So I love those tips, planning in your self care. Make sure you get it on your calendars guys. Nadia, it's been so fun chatting with you today. So many great tips, and I can't wait to find out more about what you're doing. So can you tell us a little bit about how people can connect with you? Where can they find you? Yes, of course. Um, so I am on Instagram at Nadia underscore. Oh boy. Um, and my website is Nadia boy.com. So, um, you can get me on there. Um, and I do have a Facebook as well, which I, which is the same at idea.
Speaker 3 (42:44):
Oh boy. So yeah, you can get to me that way and it's been great to chat Michelle. I always love kind of having these conversations with, with people that I feel needed and hopefully like your audience can go away and at least take something from that. Because even if you just take one thing away, is the other not having anything and yeah. Emotions, how to manage them such an important issue. And as you said, if we were taught this when we were children, I really think a lot of the problems we face as adults would not be problems anymore because we wouldn't know how to deal with them. So, yeah, I think it's massively important. I couldn't agree more, you know, our emotions do lead to our behaviors and ultimately our results, as you said, so say fundamental and obviously guys as always all the links to what we've been discussing today and the links to, to find out more about Nadia will be in the show firstname.lastname@example.org forward slash listen as always. Now it has been a complete pleasure having you on the show today. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
So there you have it. My interview with Nadia, Oh boy, it really feels like the right time to be releasing this episode. And I hope that you've found Nettie's tips useful in starting to manage the emotions that are coming up for so many of us right now. And Hey, if you liked this episode, would you do me a favor? Would you head over to iTunes and leave me a comment and review it really does mean that more amazing women will be able to find the show. Okay. That's it for me to say, thank you so much for tuning in. I know your time is valuable and I really appreciate you taking the time to join me. I'll be back with another episode scene, but before I go, I would love you to join us in the ideal life club, Facebook community, a space I've created on Facebook for ambitious women who want to grid themselves as well as their business to find out more and join us. Head over to Michelle Reeves, coaching.com forward slash ideal life club. In the meantime until next time, be positive, be powerful, be productive, stay safe, and keep fast-tracking your ideal business and life. Bye for now.