Do you need more gorgeous in your life?
If so, today’s episode of the podcast is for you – because it’s full of sparkle and love thanks to my fabulous guest, The Gorgeousness Coach Tristan Lee.
Tristan is a health and wellness coach on a mission to help us all look good, feel great and regain our sparkle, no matter what our age – and let’s face it who doesn’t want to feel more gorgeous, right friends?!
Tristan is an incredible advert for his own personal brand of wellness having transformed his life in his late 30s, overcoming mental health issues and redefining what mattered most to him and then beginning to coach others to do the same.
Having spent most of his life desperate for other people’s approval, Tristan embarked on a journey which he admits was “a journey of personal growth and healing that just happened to be disguised as a business” as he took responsibility for his own approval and rebuilt his self-esteem.
He’s proved that regardless of age, you can still look great, feel fab and have amazing self-esteem – so I just had to invite him on to the show to share his journey and special brand of magic with you.
In our chat today Tristan shares:
- How he lost friends along the way and made peace with that
- How he treats himself with care and love through daily habits and practices
- The standards he sets in his life based on his values and priorities
- How to create tangible and achievable goals that you can still meet this year
- The question you need to ask yourself about your health and your wealth
- The #1 thing you need to know before you start a business (#spoileralert it’s nothing to do with starting a business)
- Why Tristan isn’t scared to fail – and what he is scared of instead.
- The first steps to take for self-love and a mantra we can all start repeating today
Grab a signed copy of Tristan’s fab book “Munch, Move, Moisturize” PLUS a 10% discount by using promo code BOOK10 at tristanlee.com/book
Tristan’s Top Books
- The Slight Edge, Jeff Olson
- The One Thing, Gary W Keller
- The 5 Top Regrets of the Dying, Bronnie Ware
- A New Earth, Eckart Tolle
- The Mastery of Love, Dom Miguel Ruiz
- The Alchemist, Paolo Coelho
- Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert
- The Consistency Chain, George Campbell
- Feel The Fear & Do it Anyway, Susan Jeffers
- Tuesdays With Morrie, Mitch Albom
- The book thief, Markus Zusak
JUMP OVER TO MY INSTAGRAM PAGE & TELL ME: what’s one action you’re going to take from listening to this episode?
Want to listen to more episodes? You’ll find them all here
Michelle Reeves (00:00):
You're listening to the ideal life club podcast, episode 66 with the gorgeousness coach, Tristan Lee.
Welcome to the ideal life club podcast, where it's all about fast tracking your ideal business and life. With more clarity, courage, and consistency. Join your host business coach and author of the happiness habits, transformation Michelle Reeves for inspiration interviews and practical tips to finally claim success on your terms.
Michelle Reeves (00:35):
Hey there, friends, Michelle here and welcome back to the idea of life club podcast. Today's show is full of sparkle and love. Thanks to my fabulous guest. The gorgeousness coach Tristan Lee .Triston is a health and wellness coach on a mission to help us all look good, feel great and regain our sparkle no matter what our age and let's face it, who doesn't want to feel more gorgeous, right? Tristan is an incredible advert for his own personal brand of wellness. Having transformed his life in his late thirties, overcoming mental health issues and redefining what mattered most to him, and then becoming a coach to help others to do the same. Having spent most of his life desperate for other people's approval Tristan embarked on a journey, which he admits was a journey of personal growth and healing. That just happened to be disguised as a business, as he took responsibility for his own approval and rebuilt his self esteem.
Michelle Reeves (01:34):
He's proved that regardless of age, you can still look great, feel fab and have amazing self esteem. So I just had to invite him on the show to share his journey and special brand of magic with you in our chat today, Tristan shares how he treats himself with care and love through daily habits and practices, how he lost friends along the way and made peace with that. The standards he set in his life based on his values and priorities, how to create tangible and achievable goals that you can still meet this year. The question you need to ask yourself about your health and your wealth and the number one thing you need to know before you start a business and spoiler alert, it's nothing to do with starting a business. Tristan also has so many great tips why he isn't scared to fail on what he is scared of.
Michelle Reeves (02:28):
Instead a lesson for all of us and the first steps to take for self love. With a mantra we can all start repeating today, twist and also share some of the books that inspire him. And you can find the rest and all the show notes as firstname.lastname@example.org forward slash listen, and also do listen out because we will also be sharing at the end of the show, eight very special discount and offer for his book, move munch and moisturize. And I have a copy friends. It is amazing, but before we get started, have you ever wondered what it might be like to have a podcast just like this one to promote your business? If you have, you might also have put it off because you're not sure how to get started. If that resonates with you. Then my online program, practical podcasting for beginners is for you. In fact, we've already seen one of our students launched into the top 100 and iTunes in her niche and stay there with step-by-step videos, covering all aspects of creating and launching your first podcast, plus access to me for help and support when you need it. Even if technology isn't your best friend, what could a podcast do for your business? Find out more and get the first 10 lessons of the course completely free with no credit card required at Michelle Reeves, coaching.com forward slash podcast free. Okay. Back to today's show and my chat with Tristan.
Michelle Reeves (04:08):
So today guys, Oh my goodness. You couldn't get more sparkly than today's show. I am absolutely delighted to welcome the gorgeousness coach today to the idle, the lifeguard podcast, Tristan Lee is in the house. Welcome today.
Tristan Lee (04:25):
It is so good to be here,
Michelle Reeves (04:27):
Tristan I'm loving having you on today. It is going to be such fun. And I know you are going to be dropping value bombs and gorgeousness bombs everywhere. But before we get started with all the good stuff, I want to delve a little bit in to your past, and I would love you to share with us a bit about your journey. How did you get to be the gorgeousness coach?
Tristan Lee (04:52):
Oh God, it's such a good question. It's such potentially a really long answer, but I got, um, I had a really difficult late thirties, uh, real time questioning what I was doing. I was working as a freelance entertainer and singer, and I also had a couple of business, uh, side hustles I was involved with. So I got to my late thirties and a very, very, very difficult time. And when I kind of got to about 40, it was a real crisis point for me. Um, and I just thought I'm at a fork in the road. It was very sink or swim. And so it was, you know, some real problems with, with, uh, mental health challenges. And so the, my recovery from that very dark place was really focusing in on my own wellness and my own physical and emotional, um, recovery. So what that led to was, you know, I'd always been interested in health and wellness, always, you know, taking good care of myself, but I really, really stepped up so much so that people started saying to me, wow, you look good for your age or do you talk, you're very fair to what you seem to be eating well or that people knew that I'd had a very dark time and that I had really made huge progress with my own health people started asking me to help them.
Tristan Lee (06:12):
So it was never my intention to be a coach that it was kind of coaching found me because of what I was doing. So it was very authentic. And then the gorgeousness, as in, as in the word, gorgeousness was being slightly drunk at a party. If I'm honest with you, people say, cause I was like, well, I know I'm a health and wellness coach and I was coaching people and I just used my name and I help people with their health and wellness. And, and I was thinking, well, you know, I need to, I need a brand's name. I need a name that kind of in the health and wellness industry. There's so many wonderful people doing so many things, but at times I felt it was a real lack of glamour. There's a real lack of humor. And for me, it's so important to find some humor where appropriate.
Tristan Lee (06:59):
So I was very slightly inebriated at a party and someone said, what do you do at the word gorgeousness came out. I said, I'm the gorgeousness coach? And people were like, well, what's that? Cause it sounded at the very least fun at the very worst ridiculous. So I said, well, I'm a health and wellness coach. So it was just a fun phrase because I think for me the word gorgeous people at, at the very least smile when I say that, and then I explain what I do. So that's kind of a great story right there
Michelle Reeves (07:37):
Having a little bit of an injection of, of fun and humor and almost, you know, just poking fun at ourselves a little bit, right? Everyone is very serious about business.
Tristan Lee (07:50):
Well, you know, if people want to get, you know, physically or emotionally well, and I teach people with their businesses as well, because it's all about helping people live healthy and happy and productive lives. You know, we need to look at the journey. Most people are focused on how I want to lose weight or I want to get healthy and you know, it can be a real chore and like, well, how do you want the journey to be, you know, let's try and have some fun because most of life is the journey, not the destination. So let's find ways of making this enjoyable for you. So that's really my, you know, I take my work very seriously, but I do try and have some fun with it. Um, and I don't take myself too seriously. I try and, you know, try and find the, the ridiculousness in life. And there's plenty. There is definitely plenty of me for sure.
Michelle Reeves (08:38):
Oh, heck. And are we not going through a life of craziness right now as we're recording this, we are still in the middle of the cave pandemic and Oh, my word, everything kind of changes around us on a daily basis. But, um, I really am interested in, you know, you talked a bit about your mental health issues and you know, my listeners know, I also went through a very dark period in my life with therapy, for postnatal depression and off the back of that, you know, that kind of became my mess, became my message, I guess. And that's how I came back to, to where, where I am now. But I'd love to know a little bit about how you turned your mess into your message. So from that,
Tristan Lee (09:19):
Oh, I like that. That's a good one. My message. I've not heard that before and I've had most things that's really good. I like that. That's my gift to you scribble it down.
Michelle Reeves (09:33):
Cause it's like starting a business. Obviously you were working before, but starting a new business can be a scary thing.
Tristan Lee (09:41):
I was terrified. I was terrified. I was really scared. I think there's a myth that people are just calm. Well, everyone's walking around feeling confident and that successful people are confident. I really was not feeling confident at the time.
Michelle Reeves (09:55):
Did you, so how did you kind of overcome that? How did you learn? Yeah. How did you even get started? Where did you turn? Because I know, you know, some of my listeners are out there right now. They've got like an idea for a side hustle or they're just getting started in their businesses and it can be totally overwhelming. So what, what were the kind of steps that you took?
Tristan Lee (10:14):
So I'm really interpersonal development. I know that left to my own devices. My thoughts are not gonna help me particularly. So I, you know, I, I have a business background anyway, where I am aware of some basic business principles, you know, look for a gap in the market, look for how to solve problems, solve problems. Well, for people be of service, create something that people want to be part of. So I really invested in, you know, just, I just started talking to people and I was, you know, very aware that I really didn't know what I was doing. And I had to be okay with that. There's so much uncertainty because it wasn't clear what I was going to do. It wasn't like I'm going to be the gorgeousness coach. It was, I think I want to do something that involves health and wellness because that's something I know a bit about and I am passionate about.
Tristan Lee (11:06):
So, you know, I think the most important thing is don't keep feelings and worries to yourself. Stop talking to people who have some expertise. So I have, I have a business mentor. I, I do know people that are successful entrepreneurs, not in the field that I am, but in similar fields. And I was like, well, what are they doing? What do I need to do? And understanding that so much at the time, building a business, it's a bit like, it can feel like a, you know, a million piece chicks or puzzle without the lead. You know, there's no picture this. I had no, there was nothing. I had no template because if someone says, well, you know, how'd you become the gorgeous coach. I'm like, well, I don't know. I made it up out through trial and error. There was no template. Cause what I do is quite neat. I'm sure every body has their own unique way of doing their business. But for me, I thought I need education. I need to get my mind. Right. Because when we get our mind, right, everything else flows. So I, you know, I do read business books or personal development books or self help books and uh, quite a wide variety of books, like the slight edge by Jeff Olson. The one thing by Gary Keller, uh, munch move moisturized by Tristy meaning nothing to do with business.
Tristan Lee (12:20):
So I, I was aware that left my own devices. I was not going to get very far.
Michelle Reeves (12:27):
I completely agree with you. And you know, as a coach myself and having been through that whole personal development journey, I know 100% that our thoughts create our reality. And it's one of those things that we really, you know, that awareness can have a profound effect on how we then move forward. From that point, when we realize that often our thoughts are not serving us and we think certain things about ourselves, but if we kind of flick the switch, we can think something completely different and it puts us in a very different place, both mentally and then ultimately through the actions that we take. Right. So I'm completely completely agree with you on that. And guys, don't worry if you are. I know often you're listening to this when you're at the gym or in the car or, you know, clearing up around the house or whatever it is, you're doing everything that we are, um, all the, all the links and all the books that Tristan's mentioning, they will be in the show notes as always at Michelle's coaching.com forward slash listen. So don't worry if you can't take notes, we will make sure all those are in the show notes. So, um, just when you have, um, a personal support community behind you, whether that's a mentor or, you know, maybe you're part of a Facebook group or even a virtual mentor, um, I've always found it so much easier to move forward. Did you have like a support community around you that helped?
Tristan Lee (13:55):
Not particularly, not really. I have a very, very buried my best best friend. Who's a very successful entrepreneur was really my only support if I'm honest with you. Um, I was not that fortunate to have a lot of people around me that really got what I was doing because I just had a huge career change. I went from being basically almost like a standup comic comics, uh, with a couple of business side hustles to reinventing myself completely. So people like, what the hell are you doing? So I didn't have a huge amount of support. I'm sad to say my family didn't understand my friends didn't really understand. And I think some of my friends quite, quite threatened by it because I was, I really had something I really wanted to do. And I was very passionate about it. And I lost a lot of friends.
Tristan Lee (14:40):
I'm honest with you, but I did my best friend to lets say its very best selling author and incredibly successful entrepreneur guy called West Linden do look him up. He's amazing. He made to everybody, he made up for a hundred people and you know what he did for me. It's it's more than I could ever repay because he told me whatever happens. We are, I'm not gonna let you give up on yourself. Now. Those are the most profound words anybody could ever say we are going to do this. So he gave, I mean, without his guidance, I mean he's a very successful businessman. So he knows what he's talking about. He showed me that actually we have to embrace the process because I was like, well, how do I get where I want to be? And I I'm so far away from where I think I could be.
Tristan Lee (15:28):
And he's like, you just have to do the next thing. I don't know. Oprah talks about that a lot. Not that I'm saying where's this Oprah far from it. Yeah. Very different people. But what is, you know, we, you do need to have an idea of where you're headed, ultimately, where do you think you might want to be? And my business has changed so much when I started out, I was like, I think I'm going to talk about skincare. I think I'm going to talk to just men. And maybe then people started asking me about food. It was never, I mean, I was not that I don't know what was going on, but I really had an idea, but it was so ill fall. But I had to kind of take one step at a time. And I having support is so important. Having someone on your side and maybe be aware that some people won't be on your side and it's not personal.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
Oh, now that is an interesting one. Some people not being on your side. Tell me a bit about, about that.
Tristan Lee (16:29):
I just, you know, I don't want to sound like I'm being dramatic, although anyone that knows me knows I have that ability. I'm alphabet, drama, you know, good drama, uh, you know, hobby city or you know, just joking. So, um, what I would say is I, I, I really, I think got it sounds really bad. Also want to, it sounds kind of facetious, but I felt like I outgrew some of my friends, you know, as in, I w most people I knew when I was 40 were kind of on the, on the kind of thinking about retirement, or they were like, okay, my career has peaked. And I was like, actually, I've started a new career and I have big dreams. And I, and I, I just stumbled my way to where I am now. It was not a clear cut route. It wasn't like, Oh my God, I know what I want to do.
Tristan Lee (17:23):
And I did this, that worked another thing. And it works. I just lost a lot of people on the way not to blame anybody. We, you know, I just, we, people that I knew that I thought was support me really deserves. And it was very difficult because I think people were very threatened by it. And I'm not saying what I was doing was so incredible. I was just moving in a very different direction. I woke up and was like, you know what, I've lost something I want to do, and I'm going to do it. And I had no idea how to do it. I wasn't brimming with confidence. I didn't really have any clue whatsoever, but I lost a lot of people on the way, and it's not personal. I keep telling myself it's not personal, but that sometimes happens. You know, people love people to stay the same. You know, your social groups sometimes can keep you, keep you back and hold you back. And, you know, and I was fortunate that I have a couple of very good friends who, especially wares, who are like, you know what, that's okay, that you move away from people. But I was surprised how many people I lost on the journey. And that's maybe just how it, how it is.
Michelle Reeves (18:35):
I think it's, it's really interesting, this whole idea of personal transformation and you know, where we are now and where we might end up and the people that we take with us on that journey and the people that kind of stay where we were. Um, and I always like to think of it as people, what people, how people kind of react to us and what we're doing is, is more about, it's not about them. It's not about us. It's about how, what we're doing, makes them feel about themselves often. And some people will be inspired by you. Well, thousands of people are inspired by uterus and obviously, but some people will be inspired by us and what we're trying to do. And some people will feel threatened by that because it makes them feel a certain way about themselves. So, um, I always try and think of it personally in that way.
Michelle Reeves (19:27):
And I like you, you know, there's, there's people that in that just do not understand why on earth at coming up to 50, I would be working hard in two businesses to create something. Why not just take your foot off the pedal a little bit. And for me, you know, it's not about, um, you know, making tons of money and what have you, it's a passion. It's, it's, it's a passion for helping people transforming people like Leo in the same way that, that you have that passion. I think so, you know, I think there's a real, and this is something that I know you guys listening, you might come up against there. So Tristan's tips, there are, are really, really key. Just be aware that some people just might not be ready for that transformation.
Tristan Lee (20:16):
Yeah. And I think absolutely. And I, I learned so many lessons. Oh my goodness. Cause I, I was always very aware that this journey for me was a, a journey of personal growth and healing. And it just happened to be disguised as a business, um, because having spent most of my life desperate for other people's approval and not to getting it, uh, when I, when I was kind of embarking on this new chapter of my life, I was like, I'm going to have to look at this. And it was painful, but at the same time, so liberating because what I ultimately learned, and this is one of the most wonderful thing that's happened over the past 10 years is that actually the approval I'm seeking is my own. I don't. I mean, yes, it's lovely. It's the icing on the cake of people around you are like, well done.
Tristan Lee (21:05):
I'm I, I am the owner of my own approval is called self esteem for, at RESA. It's mine. I own it. I don't need your approval. I like it. I really do. I really like it when other people do, I don't need it. And that took a long time to get my head around. Cause I, you know, we, we are creatures that need, you know, to a certain level, external validation, but that's a very primitive part of our brain. And I really have to work at this as like, whose approval do I need the most it's mine. I need to take responsibility for the approval I have in my life. It's mine. How do I, how do I create an environment that my approval is the approval that matters most? And for me, that was how I take care of myself is the most empowering thing I do.
Tristan Lee (21:53):
I, I treat myself with enormous care and love, partly because I didn't use to. And so I learned a huge lesson for that. So I am, I am looking for the lesson cause I'm like, well, this is painful. What, what is it about this that I can grow from now? Growth is often is not a fun process. So I'm not going to look at me. I'm growing. I was like, I think I've learned enough lessons, but that for me was it really made me look at, I don't need other people's permission to do what I'm doing. I don't need your permission, but I do need my own. And that was, that took a long time. That took a long time. Yes. Yes.
Michelle Reeves (22:38):
Oh my goodness. That, gosh, there's so much there that I just want to play back that, you know, sometimes your business is, um, your journey of personal growth and healing disguised as that business. And we are all on a journey. Aren't we? And I love that. The whole thing about taking 100% responsibility for your own approval. Oh, amen. To that. We absolutely need to do that. And you mentioned about treating yourself with huge care and allow on a daily basis. And that plays into a question I had about the daily habits and practices that you have because Justin, you look incredible. And I know you, you know, you work out and you eat really healthy really, and you've got it all going on on that side of thing. So tell us a bit about the daily habits and practices that you have personally, and also in your business that keep you gorgeous.
Tristan Lee (23:40):
Wow. You know what they say? It takes gorgeous to know gorgeous. Let me just say that to start. Um, yes. I'm worried about selective discipline elements are just say discipline. I'm like, I'm not disciplined. I just have, I have standards. Okay. I have stat. I'm not interested in discipline. What I'm interested in is, is I know what my priorities are and not everything is a priority. You know, my garden definitely needs weeding. My garage is a mess, but my house, that's my priority. I have a commitment to daily physical activity that doesn't always mean hardcore exercise. I walk every day. That's a commitment. I work out with weights six times a week for half an hour. That's a commitment I make that priority. Um, I I'm vegan. Uh, I, but that doesn't mean you're healthy. If you're vegan, I am a healthy vegan. Uh, I take incredible care about what I put into my body.
Tristan Lee (24:37):
That was a process that didn't happen overnight. I take really good care of my emotional wellbeing. I don't, if I can't give more than I have, um, I say no to lots of things. I respect how much energy I have. Um, and I don't, I don't give more energy, uh, than I have two situations. And that all took many, many years, but I think it's really important to know what your priorities are. My priorities are food, physical activity, self care, which includes sleep relationships and my business. And they're all kind of woven into one anyway, cause I'm a health and wellness coach, which is very convenient for me. But every time I, I nap, it's a legitimate business.
Tristan Lee (25:27):
I love it. Yeah. Because I'm telling people everyone should nap occasionally. So I'm like, I am actually doing my business while napping profit guys thinking that what's, that what's, that what's that kind of party. I then called iron Napa. I'm like, that's me. I am, I'm a party Island while I'm napping on this sofa. So when it comes to my business for me, when I worked with, I've worked with lots of entrepreneurs as clients, because there's a massive relationship between self care wellness, good mental health and productivity. So I, when I back in the day, when we did, you know, when we saw people and did things outside of the house, I would host a workshop called how to nurture yourself as units, your business, and which is geared towards entrepreneurs to value their health, to create wealth. Now I know lots of entrepreneurs, maybe not so much these days that sacrifice their, their health at the alter of wealth. And I'm like, it's never worth it. Your health is your wealth. And you actually create wealth through health because the more you value yourself, the more you can create value externally. So it starts with internal value and that leads to external value. So when it comes to building my business, I'm just chipping away. I'm just chipping away at what? How do I get better at what I do? How do I provide better service, better value. That's it?
Michelle Reeves (26:58):
Oh, love that. So much value yourself to create your wealth. We should have that printed on Tisha and send it out to her.
Tristan Lee (27:10):
Yes. Feel free. Let's do that. Hashtag Merck moment. I think, I mean, for me, it's been a long time to understand that, you know, people like, if you say something, how much do you think you're worth? People will always talk about money. And I'm like, well, self worth when you really understand. I mean, if I had to sum up basically what I do as a coach, it starts with this. That you're valuable. That's it? You're valuable. You're already good enough. Whether you're big, small, fat, slim, rich, poor, whatever's going on in your life. You're still good enough. You're still valuable. So if you're valuable, if you really start to explore your own value, you can create anything you want. If you want to lose weight, you can, because you're valuable. You make better food choices. If you want to make, create a wonderful business, you can because you're valuable.
Tristan Lee (27:55):
You can create whatever you want. Most people are trying to get their value externally. And that can be very difficult, especially for women that I work with, who either want to lose weight or build a business that pushing almost pushing against a closed door sometimes because they think, well, if I'm sled, if I'm successful, then I will give myself permission to feel good about myself. And I, I would disagree. I would say, you know what? Yes, you may feel happier and more confident and have more money and whatever else, if you are slimmer or healthier or build a business, but it doesn't create more value. You're not a better person. You're already good enough. And that's the starting point I think is you want to create a successful business, know your value?
Michelle Reeves (28:49):
Oh my goodness. Left. Right. And center. I cannot keep up the notes and I can't keep up
Tristan Lee (29:01):
Slow. You're wrong because this is
Michelle Reeves (29:03):
Too good. No seriously guys though, give yourself permission to be who you are, who you are right now, as Kristin said, is the ultimate value that you have for the world. And you are enough just as you are, but this is the thing. This is the dichotomy I find with personal development, which is, you know, we are absolutely 100% valuable as we are, but we still also have dreams and visions and goals and plans to improve on who we are. And so where are you, how does kind of feel to you? Where do you feel on that dichotomy? Cause it's hard for people.
Tristan Lee (29:45):
Yeah, I totally get it because I listened to quite a lot of Eckhart Tali. Um, I don't know if you know much about him, but he's always saying, you know, power of now just being the present animal for that. And then the question is, well, if you're so satisfied and loving who you are, why would you ever want to do anything? So I, so for me, the way I, the way I get my head around that is when you really know your value and you're grateful for who you are and what you have already, you then life becomes a game you get to choose. You don't have to be slim, but you choose to be slim. You don't have to build a business. It's not, doesn't create worth, but it's an expression of your worth. So for me, when I work with people, that's, that's the kind of vibe that I, you know, if, to be happy with who you are and love yourself, doesn't mean you can't express and grow and you can't create what you want. Doesn't mean that you're dissatisfied with yourself. It means you get to express yourself. So for me, what I do is I, I have hopes and dreams and goals, but I try and ground myself in knowing my own value. And I create what I want in a much calmer and more loving way because my value doesn't depend on my success.
Michelle Reeves (31:04):
Oh, I love that. And that's a great way to think of, of that personal growth. We're all on a personal growth journey, the whole of our lives at the end of the day, from the minute we're born to the minute we die, aren't we? So we may as well show up and be giving some value to others out of what we've learned is kind of the way I would like to think about it.
Tristan Lee (31:23):
I mean, that's why, you know, for me, I never, never, it was never my plan to become a coach. I just started sharing what I was doing. And there were lots of moments on the way that were, you know, lots of doubt, huge amount of insecurity, but I just was like, you know what? I kept reminding myself of my value and to keep going. And I remember also talking a books, I'm reading a book a few years ago, which again, there's another book that I'd recommend to your listeners, which is get ready for the cherry title, the top five regrets of the dying by an ethical Bronnie ware. And it's a very beautiful, emotional as the title suggests, but incredibly inspiring book. And ultimately the top regret of the dying is regret itself. And I was like, well, we all know that, but this book really explained it in a way that was so inspiring to me because most of us, I'm sure your listeners can attest to this, uh, terrified of failure.
Tristan Lee (32:22):
And when I read that book, I was like, I am no longer scared of failure. Failure is no big deal, but regret, Oh my God, I am terrified of regret. Now that doesn't mean that I built my business based on fear, but it means I'm not obsessed. I don't really care if I fail. I'm not planning to fail. It's my business is really going very well, but don't leave those desires in your heart left there or stagnating do something about it, make mistakes. It's really okay. But to, to get to the end of our lives, whether you're 70, 80, 90, or 120 and go, I never really tried because I was too scared to fail. I do recommend that book five, the top five regrets of the dying by Bronnie ware. One of those books, it's in my top 10 of, um, just the most amazing books that I was like, that's it. No more fear of failure for me. I don't really care if this, this doesn't work, but I really care that I didn't try.
Michelle Reeves (33:23):
Oh, I love that. And I am going to tap you up for your top 10 after this podcast. Kristen, if you meet, I would love to put them in the show notes. Cause I think that will be incredible. Um, but just, just to, um, play that back, don't leave desires in your hearts guys. I completely, while I love that for a start, but also we're very much aligned on that. Definitely something that I feel as well. Um, you know, before we had our two children, which I am blessed to have had, we did not leave anything on the table. You know, we rode motorbikes, we traveled around the world. We learn how to scuba dive. I learned how to ski, you know, we'd been all the places that we kind of wanted to go and I still have a bucket list and we are ticking them off one at a time, but I do not want to get to the end of my days and say, I wish that I done this, or I wish that I'd done that. Don't leave it on the table. Let take it off now because you know, at the end of the day, life is a list of experiences that we've had and what those experiences have told you.
Tristan Lee (34:31):
Right? And I think that's a very individual thing, you know, I've been just given type of once. It didn't really work out for me, you know, whatever's on your bucket list may not be on my bucket list. I have, we all have our own things. And for me, what I, my biggest intention was, I just love to see if I could just get a glimpse of my potential and do something of value in the world that I could enjoy and, and contribute and make a great living out of why not I'm all for abundance. Um, I just felt for me, I didn't want to, it wasn't so much experiences for me. It was like, I just had something that I felt I needed to do. Something important that I used to do. Maybe for myself that would have an impact on others. And it w the, the voice or the feeding got louder and louder, like you need to do something, but I wasn't sure what.
Tristan Lee (35:24):
So I just had to start a gen and I'm sure a lot of people who start businesses can, can relate to that, but there's something you want to do, but you're not really sure exactly what it is. And I think what most people are so scared of is making mistakes of the everyone's obsessed with clarity. Like it needs to be this. And if I do this will absolutely work for me. I really had to make friends with uncertainty. I really have to trust the process for me. It was about letting out what's inside. You know, there is something within every single person that wants to be expressed in the world, whether that's you're the best Baker in your village, whether you want to be the most amazing mother, whatever it is, or create a business that you feel really represents, you fulfills you. It has a great impact on others. Let it out. I would say, I would say let it out.
Michelle Reeves (36:19):
Absolutely. Make friends with uncertainty business certainly is uncertainty one step after the next. It's interesting what you say about clarity because, um, I it's clarity is the first step that I always take with, with my, with my clients, interestingly, but clarity for me doesn't necessarily mean, you know, all the steps in the journey and for sure. Yeah. So for me, clarity is about really understanding kind of where you're trying to get to right now. Like what does that look like right now? And then we can build a path back to that. And I think it's one of the things that people struggle with a lot is, is, is kind of trying to figure out what that next step is. So Justin, I'm going to put you on the spot, actually. I'm gonna ask you a question. So we are just coming up to, you know, this the 1st of September as we record there. So we've got like, you know, four months till the end of the year. It's kind of, that feels like that pushed Tom. I love September. I love me, you know, some new pencils and a notebook the back to school time. Yeah.
Tristan Lee (37:21):
Michelle Reeves (37:23):
What does that kind of feel like for you? What, what, how do you envision your business kind of coming up to the end of the year? What excites you about what you're doing right now and how do you kind of pull that together into a plan that you can work to?
Tristan Lee (37:37):
Yeah. I mean, I, you know, I, I, I think it's just good to kind of have an idea of where you want to go. I know where I want to go and I want to get better at what I do. So I do have some, some relatively clear goals as in how I want my business to expand. I have things that I'm trying to do to reach a wider audience. So some of it is ongoing business growth. And then within that, I have some very, you know, to just one or two very tangible goals I'm working on. That could be a turnover goal. It could be things that I do to say, reach a wider audience. So for me, my, my commitment is to get better at what I do and create more service and value for others. And if I'm chipping away at that, I know on the right path.
Tristan Lee (38:23):
And I also want to be more efficient with my time. I'm, you know, I do invest in personal development as I was talking about earlier. Like, how do I, yes, I can. I really love one-to-one coaching. And that is great, but I also want to be able to create courses and other things. So I'm working on lots of little things, but my priority is where I am now. So one of the things I've read recently that really changed my life was, you know, we need to fill the space we're in today in order to fill the space we want to be in tomorrow, because if we're like, okay, well, I am where I am now, but really what I want is a 1 million pound turnover and I want 700 clients and I want to speak in front of 25,000 people where we're not today. What are we doing today?
Tristan Lee (39:09):
So how do I, how do I be a better coach today? And I do think numbers are good. If you can pick a number, whether that's how many clients you want, what you want a turnover to be worked towards, I would say pick one tangible goal. I have a, a turnover goal that I'm working towards. Now. I'm not obsessed with the turnover per se, but I'm going to have to grow into that goal. And it was not a crazy goal. This is a by the end of the year goal, but I'm like, okay. I listened to a lot of personal development as I've had 46 times already. And I listened to a lot of Earl Nightingale, old school, past development. And what he says is it's not the people aren't capable of achieving their goal is just, don't really know what they want. So just pick something, pick something, tangible, something measurable, could be just one thing. And then look at where you are now, where you want to be and start to create options of how to get there. Just start exploring. And I think most of us are, we don't explore enough. Like it's okay to try things and they don't work.
Michelle Reeves (40:18):
I completely agree with that explore options for how to get where you're trying to get to. I know one of the things that we talk about a lot in the ideal lifetime is the curiosity mindset, which is my favorite at mindset. Actually switching out of fear is easiest. If we switch into curiosity, cause it turns our brains into Google, on steroids and our brain already starts to answer all these questions that curiosity raises. And it's certainly the way I like to do stuff.
Tristan Lee (40:49):
Yeah. I mean, I, when I work with clients, I talk about the, um, the difference between observation and judgment, which is kind of what you're saying. Curiosity could be seen as, as observation. So if you think about is a big lesson, I had to learn because if you imagine, again, I, when I work with people, like I talk in pictures a lot, cause I like, I like a visual people like a visual. So if you, your listeners imagine that a dark room with curtains drawn, door's bolted shut, you know, dark. Nothing's nothing getting in and nothing's getting out that's judgment. You know, that's some negative self talk and there's no room for growth. There's no room for options of, of solving any problems. Now that same room, that room is your mind. By the way, if you open the doors, open, the windows flooded with light, let things in, let things out.
Tristan Lee (41:39):
That's observation or curiosity as you say, take a step back. Okay. So let's, if we're so in it that we're judging ourselves and we're like, Oh, why can't I do this? Why can't I do that? We won't learn anything. So for me, take a step back. Say, I wonder, I wonder why this isn't working. I wonder what's interesting that that person didn't call me back. That's interesting that that contract fell through. I wonder what that's about. If you know, it's not personal, if you know your value and you're like, Oh, be curious, as you say, be observational about what's going on in your life and go, Hmm, that's interesting. I wonder what that's about. And that is so much more likely to create an environment for a positive action or creative ideas to come into that space. Then giving yourself a really hard time, which a lot of people do and it doesn't work.
Michelle Reeves (42:34):
I agree. 100%. I love that visual of the clothes, dark grim guy. So just you, you know, use that, think of that when you're feeling a bit bogged down in your, a bit fearful, think of Tristan's closed dark room or not necessarily Kristen's
Tristan Lee (42:51):
Don't think about me in the closet. Cause that is a place I no longer live in.
Michelle Reeves (43:03):
Is it in the bright open, wide space, creative room, but that's what it is. But when you're in that place, guys think about your mindset. As Kristen says, your mindset is so important, your mindset is your power just, and it's been so incredible chatting to you today. I've absolutely loved every single minute of it. But before we get to all the ways that people can connect with you, I'd love to know if you know, someone's listening to this episode and they are clearly going to be totally inspired by everything you've been saying, what would you suggest as maybe a first couple of steps they could take in order to start giving themselves that self love that you've been talking about?
Tristan Lee (43:51):
Well, it's something so simple. You just want you to do get your hands put over your heart. And this is what you say. Now it may sound a bit funny, but this really works. Just put your hands over your heart and say this I I'm valuable. That's what you have to do. I, um, valuable close your eyes, take a couple of deep breaths and repeat. Now, if you told me that 10 years ago, I'd be like, Oh my God, that's so out there, but I'd get my clients to do it. We can on nervous system down when we take a couple of deep breaths, okay. That's a good one. Affirm to yourself that underneath your circumstances, underneath your weight, your, your past, your present, your future, you already are fabulous. Just remember your value. That's the most important thing we can do. And then if I had to give you another tip would be look at your environment, you know, make sure that whether that's what you put in your, you know, what we eat is so important.
Tristan Lee (44:52):
Our food environment, I should say, choose the one of the most important things we can do to feel good about ourselves is understand the relationship between food and mood. I do a lot of food coaching in my business. So eat real food. You'll be so surprised how that affects your mood and it affects your productivity. So think again and have a little picture for your listeners. Think about a car. Think about the fuel. If you want to go the distance in your business or anything that you want to do, treat yourself as you would a really expensive car, put the best quality, least processed multicolored food you possibly can. And notice how that makes you feel and do that. Not because you should, but do that. It's because you're valuable and you deserve really good fuel.
Michelle Reeves (45:41):
Oh my goodness. I am loving all of that. I was literally sitting here guys with my hands on my heart, deep breathing, and I felt the calm descend. There we go. I am valuable. And you guys all are too twisted. How can people connect with you? Because I know they are going to want it. So how do we find you in all of the gorgeousness coach detail?
Tristan Lee (46:04):
Wow. If you search the gorgeous coach, I hope I'm the only one that comes up. Otherwise someone's mic my brand. Um, so it's Tristan Lee, the gorgeous coach, uh, at real trustingly on social media or the usuals. And then interestingly.com is my website, uh, which is, um, the best way to find me. Um, and you know, I've also got a private Facebook group, which is free to join called Tristan's gorgeousness gang. So people want to say hi and join the gang. They just have to kind of request to join and they can join. We've got about 1500 members at the minute. So it's also great ways to kind of say hi and be, you know, be part of what we're doing here, which is, you know, supporting each other to, to, you know, um, be healthy and happy.
Michelle Reeves (46:54):
I will make sure all of those details guys are in the show notes as always. So don't worry if you haven't managed to grab all of those links and where to find trust and they will be there for you when you are ready for them to send it. Thank you so much. Again, it has been an absolute pleasure having you on the show.
Tristan Lee (47:12):
Thank you for having me. It's been really fun, much, much, much, much. Laughter.
Michelle Reeves (47:22):
So there you have it friends. My interview with Tristan Lee, how many value bombs were going off during chat? Oh my goodness. I just loved every moment of this. And there were so many moments that I just wanted to bottle and playback every day, which is why I'm so delighted that you can grab a signed copy of Tristan's book, munch, move moisturize plus attempts and discount by using promo code book email@example.com. I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I did and that it will give you lots of tips for boosting your gorgeousness. Something I think we could all use right now. And Hey, if you did like this episode, would you do me a favor? Would you head over to iTunes and leave me a comment and review it really does mean that more amazing people will be able to find the show.
Michelle Reeves (48:15):
Okay. That's it for me today. Thank you so much for tuning in. I know your time is valuable and I really appreciate you taking the time to join me today. I'll be back with another episode soon, but before I go, why not come and join me in the ideal life club, Facebook community, a space I've created on Facebook for ambitious women who want to grow themselves as well as their business to find out more and join us. Head over to Michelle Reeves, coaching.com forward slash ideal life club. In the meantime until next time be positive, be powerful, be productive, stay safe and keep fast tracking your ideal life and business. Bye for now.