On how to engineer opportunities and how personal development came into my life when I needed it the most…

If you’ve ever wondered about my backstory then today’s episode is for you. Recently I was invited to join Morgane Roos-Carreira on her show, The Way of Living podcast and we dove deep into my personal story, friends!

In my chat with Morgane, we talk about my personal journey, wearing lots of hats and how personal development came into my life at a time when I needed it most. I definitely go deep into some of the more difficult times and I honestly believe it’s so important for us to talk about our challenges and how we overcome them. It can sometimes feel like we’re alone in our struggles, so I hope that by sharing my own experience of depression and how I had to leave behind the person I thought I should be, to step into the person I needed to become, it helps your honour your own journey.

You’ll hear about my views on lifelong learning, the importance of routine in creating a healthy structure in our lives, the difference between reaction and intention, why managing our mindset is a fundamental piece of the progress puzzle, and how to deal with the inevitable working mom guilt. I also walk Morgane through the STEAR model which is my favourite tool for managing my mindset.

Listening back to our chat and reliving my personal journey really shows the power of perspective – living through challenge feels so incredibly hard at the time but I’ve come to believe that everything we go through is a lesson for us, we need to own our journeys, and I know I’ve learned so much from what I’ve been through over the last decade. I truly hope that you gain something from today’s episode and that it gives you some perspective on your own journey.

 

JUMP OVER TO MY INSTAGRAM PAGE & TELL ME: what’s one action you’re going to take from listening to this episode?

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Transcript

Michelle (00:01):
You're listening to the ideal life club podcast, episode 71, how to engineer opportunities rather than waiting for them to find you

Voiceover (00:12):
Welcome to the ideal life club podcast, where it's all about. Fast-tracking your ideal business and life with more clarity, courage, and consistency. Join your host business coach and author of the happiness habits, transformation, Michelle Reeves for inspiration interviews and practical tips to finally claim success on your terms.

Michelle (00:38):
Hey there, friends, Michelle here and welcome back to the ideal life club podcast. If you've ever wondered about my backstory, then today's episode is for you recently, I was invited to join Morgan Reese Carrera on her show, the way of living podcast, and we dove deep into my personal story. Friends in my chat with Morgan, we talk about my personal journey, wearing all sorts of hats and how personal development came into my life at a time when I definitely needed it most, I go deep into some of the more difficult times, and I honestly believe it's so important for us to talk about our challenges and how we overcome them. It can sometimes feel like we're alone in our struggles. So I hope that by sharing my own experience of depression and how I had to leave behind the person, I thought I should be to step into the person I needed to become.

Michelle (01:33):
You'll hear about my views on lifelong learning, the importance of routine in creating a healthy structure in our lives. The difference between reaction and intention, why managing our mindset is a fundamental piece of the progress puzzle, and how to deal with the inevitable working mum guilt. I also walk Morgan through the STEM model, which is my favorite tool for managing my mindset. And as always you'll find any of the links and the show notes for this episode. And the other shows in this series at michellereevescoaching.com/listen. But before we get started, have you ever wondered what it might be like to have a podcast like this one to promote your business? If you have, you might also have put it off because you're not sure how to get started. If so, then the free trial of my online course practical podcasting for beginners is for you. In fact, one of my students launched into the top 100 on iTunes in her niche and went from podcast newbie to podcast pro there are step-by-step videos covering all aspects of creating and launching your podcast, plus access to me for help and support when you need it. Even if technology isn't your BFF, what could a podcast do for your business? Find out more and start your free trial today with no credit card at michellereevescoaching.com/podcastfree. Okay. Back to today's show and my chat with Morgan. I hope you enjoy it.

Michelle (03:12):
Hello everyone. I am Morgane and welcome to way of living, but cast where you would hear empowering women talking about how you shouldn't be stuck in an unsupportive career and how your dream life is short, live it to the fullest. And I hope you would feel inspired by their stories after leaving a very successful and loved corporate life in England for life in China, with her husband, Michelle Reeves went through traumatic birth and ended up suffering from postnatal depression. Instead of coming out broken, she worked very hard on personal development and found a new way to be happy. Balancing her personal and family life. She doesn't wait for opportunities to magically fall from the sky, but she brings them to hub. For example, Michelle ended up writing a book, which wasn't even in our plan because she went to an event and talked about her story to a stranger who happened to be working in publishing in a suggested touches, sent a book proposal. In this episode, Michelle will talk about personal development, which is very important part entrepreneurs, the importance of routines to create a habit structure and how to view all success. I hope you'll enjoy our chat and you will find inspiration.

Michelle (04:42):
How are you? Hi, it's great to be here. Thanks so much for inviting me on. I feel really blessed to be here.

Morgane (04:49):
Welcome to the podcast. Thank you so so much for being here, uh, very exciting today. Opportunity grab a Michelle. I can't wait for you to tell us your story. You've been through a lot. And um, if you'd like to start by introducing yourself who you are and, uh, what you do, of course.

Michelle (05:11):
So my name is Michelle Reeves. I am the director of the, this is my era Academy. I'm also a certified life coach and a business mentor.

Morgane (05:19):
When you say that you're the director of, this is my Iran. Uh, what is your role in this company?

Michelle (05:26):
ThisIsMyEra is a personal development company. And we are the creators of the 90 day planner that you see behind me, which is a goal system. It's not just a planner, it's a whole system to help people to create goals and to achieve those goals. Um, and what we recognize as part of the whole development of the company is that while we are so passionate about helping people to achieve their goals, we want to go further than that. We want to go further than helping them to just create goals and map out goals through step-by-step system. We wanted to actually empower them to achieve those goals as an end point. So we've created that this is my era Academy to work with subject matter experts across all areas of people's lives. So if they have a home health goal, for example, we, you know, we're going to have a course with a health expert that can help them go step by step through to achieving their goals. So it becomes a real end-to-end process for people. And I'm the director of the Academy,

Morgane (06:29):
As well as being the director of this is my era. You're also a life coach and a business mentor. You are also an author of a book. You are wearing so many hats, Michelle, but before this, you used to work in the corporate world. Uh, like a lot of the people that I interview here, they've all been through this, uh, this corporate life, most of them, and for a lot of women at some point of their life that they had enough. Could you talk to us about your background and what you've done before and being a life coach and the director of the company?

Michelle (07:07):
Yeah, absolutely. So for me, I've got a slightly different story, which is that I loved my corporate life. I absolutely loved it. So my background, I started off in PR many, many years ago. I'm, I'm coming up towards 50 now. Um, but I started off in PR and I worked as a travel PR. Uh, I used to take journalists abroad to Iceland and show them Iceland. Uh, I worked with the quick tourist office. I worked with filler and capper, the sports brands, copper NABA, fascia bag, all kinds of different companies. I started off there and then I moved into marketings, initially direct marketing. And then this really exciting thing came along called the internet. And so I worked at the time I was working with the Royal mail here in the UK. Um, and then subsequently with, uh, the big four banks, I worked with Lloyds and we created the internet customer experience for our customers across those platforms.

Michelle (08:06):
So at Royal mail, I was in the embryonic team that developed the postcode finder, the address finder, some of the tools that people are still using today. And that was very early on in the days of the internet. You know, when I first started, we were faxing press releases to, to journalists. So it's, it's a whole different world these days, but I think that was where my love of the internet really started. And I got to a point in my career where I was presenting to the board and really being very involved in customer experience and customer strategy. So I didn't, you know, I, I, it wasn't like I hated my job and wanted to leave at that point. But I think the big change for me was my husband came home from work one day and said, how do you feel about moving to China for a year?

Michelle (08:54):
And so my head was in a tailspin. I'm like, Oh my goodness, what a great opportunity to go and work in another country? How many times do we get that opportunity? Especially, you know, a country so far away from where I lived in the UK with a completely different culture. Um, and on the other hand I was doing so well in my career and I was loving what I was doing. But I think when you were in a, you know, a strong relationship, you know, you kind of have to decide whose turn is it to really achieve their goals. And so I, you know, we, we took the decision. I very much wanted to support my husband's do it in, in building a business in China, uh, with the company that he was working for. So we went, packed up our lives, packed up our house, moved to China for a year. And alongside this process, we'd been trying to get pregnant, trying to have our first child. And we struggled for four years with that whole process here in the UK. So when we went out to China, we, um, we're blessed to be able to, um, use the fertility treatment, uh, in China. And so going through that process, I didn't work while we were in China. And I went through that, that kind of process. And, and we were very lucky to have, um, our daughter Amelia while we were out there.

Morgane (10:12):
Oh, so fast, you just moved. And he happened,

Michelle (10:15):
It wasn't a very, it wasn't an easy journey. We had to have a, we, we had a version of IVF treatment in China. So it was our third attempt with that where we were, we were able to thankfully, uh, fall pregnant with Amelia, but I can't that whole experience. And what happened following that, I really considered to be almost like a second birth for me. I don't know if you want me to touch on the story. Um, I did, uh, I covered the story eventually in my book, the happiness habits transformation, but effectively, um, we had a difficult pregnancy. Um, she was premature. My daughter was premature. She was born a month early, which in the UK is not that different to a lot of people's experience. But in China at the time, 10 years ago, 11 years ago, um, it was a bit more tricky. We didn't have a neonatal unit near us and, uh, I had a very traumatic birth with Amelia. So, um, it was an emergency C-section and the epidural didn't work. I won't go into lots of detail, but anybody listening, but it was, yeah, it was a traumatic experience. And following that, I went through a, a very difficult time mentally and I had to have therapy and I was diagnosed with postnatal depression.

Morgane (11:37):
You were still in China at that time. Yes. How did you deal with this? Because I know you went through therapy, personal development, which is going to lead us to the next conversation, but, um, did you have like a good support system back In China?

Michelle (11:54):
I think, I think one of the reasons why it was so difficult with, because I was away from family and friends, so my husband traveled as part of his job. And so I was on my own a lot of the time. And I think this probably contributed as well as the traumatic birth. Um, I think there's probably contributed to the depression didn't help. I was clinically diagnosed though. So I know it was also a related, it was a clinical physical issue, a hormonal issue as well. Um, but I don't think that really helped. And there was definitely, I know now, uh, the mindset that I had was not serving me. So as a, uh, you know, uh, an ambitious career lady, you know, wanting to be, uh, striving, always trying to achieve, always trying to the best be the best I could be.

Michelle (12:42):
I had created a series of expectations for myself as to what motherhood meant and what it meant to be a mother. And I had created this whole vision of, you know, this amazing birth experience and how it was all going to be candles and, you know, mood, low lighting and mood music. And it was all going to be beautiful. And when my, you know, reality didn't meet that expectation. I went through a whole grieving process for that almost like grieving for the person that I thought I was and I'd become a different person. Um, and I really felt I couldn't cope. I had gone from, you know, having this great career to not being in control, not knowing what to do with this premature baby who couldn't eat. I was feeding her every two hours around the clock. So I was severely sleep deprived. Um, and I became a shell of my former self effectively, and my husband came home one day and I'm, you know, I write about this in the book, so I have no problem sharing it, but he came home one day and said, you are not the person that I married.

Michelle (13:46):
We need to get help. We need to get support. So I think it's a really important message to anybody listening that if, if you get to this point, you have to reach out and ask for help. Don't wait to you get to the point where you are desperate or other people are seeing that in you, you have to reach out and get, and there's so much more help and support now than there was, um, back then. So many great organizations that can help people struggling with their mental health. So I had, I had my clinical psychologist who diagnosed me and we went through a process of therapy. I decided after all the IVF treatment that I had, the had flooded my body with drugs, that I didn't want to take any more drugs. So, um, I didn't take any antidepressants. And instead I learnt how to use, um, a specific kind of psychological, um, uh, kind of step-by-step process.

Michelle (14:39):
If you like behavioral therapy, to understand how my thoughts were affecting my results. And it was such a revelation to me, recognize that I was in charge of my own emotions, that I was reacting to things when I could be intentional. This was a whole different thing for me, really. And it began, I always say that my therapy took me from non-functioning to functioning, and it was what happened after that, that took me from just merely functioning to flourishing because it kickstarted my whole personal development journey, reading lots of different books. And it eventually led me to training as a life coach and then taking all my experience from my corporate life to weave that in as a business mentor and to weave the life coaching and the therapy and everything that I'd learned through, into my business mentoring as well. And ultimately it's led me to where I am today. Um, being able to impact so many more people through this is my era

Morgane (15:43):
Before the end, before you went into therapies, and obviously you didn't take the, the medical, uh, usual path. You actually went through different types of therapies that exist out there. Were you aware of those before? Because I know that I have a friend, a couple of friends, you do those type of therapies, but before them, I had no idea there was a thing.

Michelle (16:06):
Um, no, I had no idea. No, I had no idea. Um, you know, I was interested in goals and planning. I was, I've always been a planner, always been a planner, always loved a nice fresh notebook. Um, but I'd never w the therapy that I had is called cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT. Um, and I'd never heard of it before. I didn't even know it was a thing. Um, and so, but I was adamant that I didn't want to, I wanted to try to heal myself without taking any more drugs. And so I thought, well, we have nothing. I have nothing to lose. I got to that point by then, I think where I'd stripped myself so bad. And I was so vulnerable that it was the case of creating the building blocks to build myself back up, to create the new person that I needed to become.

Michelle (17:00):
Um, so, you know, I think the person that I was before, um, you know, obviously I still had elements of that. Um, I'm still very passionate and really go driven, but I recognize that a lot of my mindset had to change and I needed to become a lot more resilient and understand a lot more about how my brain worked, because I think as entrepreneurs, you know, anybody listening to this, your fantastic listeners will recognize this. You know, when we have thoughts that don't serve us, it ultimately impacts on our results. You know, when we're trying to go from our comfort zone where it's, things are super easy and we're ticking along when we're trying to move into our growth stone, moving out of our comfort zone, which is where all success sits at the end of the day, it's through that barrier. It's our mindset that gets us through barrier because it's, you know, everyone has the ability to learn and the ability to change. Um, but if we don't have the right mindset and we're not thinking the right thoughts, it's almost impossible to go through that barrier.

Morgane (18:00):
When you finished your therapy and you, you were feeling better. Why did you think that was your time to do this for other people? Why did you choose this career?

Michelle (18:13):
Absolutely. I think the thing, the thing with when you've kind of been through a big traumatic experience, it makes you step back and take a look at your life as a whole. And I felt that although I'd, you know, I'd obviously impacted a lot of people in, in my corporate role and I'd, I'd done a lot to, to help people to be able to, for example, to use, find their financial information really easy and things like that when I worked for the bank, um, I really wanted to take what I'd learned and help other people to, to, to kind of use their own mindset. I think, because it had been such a revelation for me, I felt this was a message that I had to get out there. Um, and I also wanted to create that allowed me to be a mother as well. You know, I think, although we'd been through a very trout traumatic period, eventually once I was able to properly bond with my daughter, I didn't want to be apart from her.

Michelle (19:10):
So kind of having a career that allowed me to do both, and I really didn't properly, um, start kind of working until my son. I had, I had a son as well, so my son is, um, almost eight. He was, he was conceived naturally, uh, when we came back to the UK. So when he started school and they were both at school, that's when I really properly, was able to kind of start working full-time again. But before that, I wanted a career that allowed me to make an impact, share what I'd learned, but also be there, you know, be there for them. And I, and I think it's, I think we, as, as mothers and working mothers, we can feel really guilty about that. Um, and I started off when I, when I first started my coaching, I started off coaching mothers and kind of giving sort of, you know, coaching around the importance of having time for yourself as a mother.

Michelle (20:03):
I think all too often, we feel like we have to be everything to everybody. And I, and I use the analogy of a cup, how, you know, we all in our lives, we have, have a kind of a cup if you like, of the energy and the resources and, and the, you know, the time that we're able to give, uh, to the world, to ourselves and to others. And I think all too often as mothers we'd give out from that cup to other people all day long. And if we do that without replenishing the cup and filling it back up with what's most important to us, we eventually the cup becomes empty and then we have no way of giving out. And that is where we start to have problems. So, um, I think it's really, really key as mothers, even just as entrepreneurs, you know, people in general, I think everybody owes it to themselves to replenish their cup very regularly with what brings them joy.

Michelle (20:54):
You know, I think personal development, isn't one and done is a lifelong journey. I think we all learn and we all have the ability to learn and grow. And that doesn't mean that where you are now is not special and beautiful, you know, I think we are all enough as we are, but we have the ability to evolve and grow over time. And that is a gift to us. You know, it's amazing that there are now so many resources out there and such a great opportunity for us all to take a fresh start. Um, and it's one of the reasons actually why the first course that we launched, and this is my era Academy is a course I created called reboot your life. Um, just as a segue, it's a step-by-step opportunity for you to hit what I like to say, hit control or un-delete in your life. So, you know, when you're on your computer and it's going haywire and you go control, like delayed start over. So we created the course to be that effectively. So I took all the lessons that I've learned over the last 10 years and put them in to reboot your life. And it's been amazing to see people creating that purpose and passion for their lives. Again,

Morgane (21:57):
Just to make sure if we, with a timeline, uh, you had your, uh, your daughter 11 years ago, you wrote a book. Did you write a book when she was born, after she was born?

Michelle (22:11):
Nope. Years later. Yeah. We had to have some time pass to be able to process that, for sure. So, yeah. So the book, um, which is the Happiness Habits Transformation, I have a copy to send to you here, which I will. Um, so yeah, so the happiness habits transformation is really my journey. Um, and I was blessed to meet with my publisher, small publisher just by chance, really, because I never actually planned to write the book and it's published by Matthew James publishing. And I met, uh, one of the founders of the publishing company at an event that I was going to, and we just got talking and share. I sort of shared my journey with him. And, uh, he said, there's a, there's a book here. You should write this as a book. And I'd never really considered it properly. Um, so I went home, I went to the Google's, as we all do when we need to learn something for the first time, don't worry.

Michelle (23:03):
I went to the Googles, how do you write a book proposal? And because the internet is such a beautiful and wonderful thing, I learned how to write a book proposal, and I wrote it and I sent it off to the publishers and I thought, I probably won't hear anything back. And then I went on holiday and while I was away, I had an email saying, yes, we'd like to publish your book. Uh, can you get it to us by this date?

Morgane (23:26):
How long did you have?

Michelle (23:28):
Uh, not as long as I think I would have liked. Now. I think the thing with writing a book is writing a book can take us as long as the time you give it. Um, yes, I think, you know, w I definitely better with deadlines. I think most people work better with deadlines. Um, so the fact that I had a deadline was great for me because it allowed me to structure my time. Um, and because I'm very planning focused, I set myself specific goals. Um, I started off actually deciding I was going to write a certain amount every day, a certain number of words, and that that was horrendous because that's just a playback to what we were talking about. Expectation management. Sometimes when we create expectations for ourselves, they become, uh, what sort of shoulds, if you're like, I should get this done. And I think a lot of us spend a lot of our time 'shoulding' all over ourselves and it's not helpful.

Michelle (24:26):
You know, there's no real shoulds in our life. There's just our purpose and our passion and our intention. So instead I shifted my goal to writing for a certain amount of time every day, and it took the pressure off me, and it allowed me to enjoy the process of writing the book and whatever happened that day happened that day, but I just didn't stop until the timer went off. Um, and, and yeah, and the book got written and, um, it, it's amazing having had the feedback of people that have read it, and it was a bit scary actually sending out my journey into the world and talking about the birth process. And it's, it's the beginning of the book is, is, is, um, not too graphic I hope, but I do explain what happened. And then I go through as a result of that, the eight happiness habits that I created, um, from my personal development.

Michelle (25:12):
And I still use every day now that helped me to rebuild my life effectively. And that gave me a purpose again. Um, and it created structure and I think routine and structure is very important. Um, and now when I'm working with entrepreneurs, when I'm working with women in business specifically, I, you know, I'm very big on routine. I think there are lots of different routines that we can create in our life that give us structure. Um, and that structure creates, um, it, you know, it's like a box that we can put our purpose and our passion into and allow it to be contained. It doesn't mean that we can't have creativity and spontaneity, but if we just let that run while we never actually get anything done. And how do you help people to break those barriers that they build themselves? I think, you know, one of the great tools that I teach in reboot your life and that I can share with your listeners now, actually, um, if that will be helpful is, um, a tool that I use also with my, my life coaching clients.

Michelle (26:12):
And that is part of cognitive behavioral therapy. I've adapted it slightly. I call it the steer model, S T E A R. And this is a model that, um, has been used for, for a long time. But it's, it's a great way of understanding how our brains work, how to break that down and then to rebuild it in a way that serves us. So the way the STEAR model works, if you can imagine starting at the top, the S instead is the situation that we're in. So any goal we're trying to achieve, maybe we're attempting for the first time to do a Facebook live or a webinar, or we want to go out and get a new job and we're going for an interview or whatever it might be, whatever our goal is, the situation that we're in, it's actually completely neutral. We tend to think the situations that we're in create emotions, that we are feeling a certain way because of the situation we're in, but that's actually not what happens.

Michelle (27:04):
What happens is there's a step in between that, that we don't, we're not aware of often, which is our thought process. So every situation that we're in triggers our thought and that thought in our mind is how we create reality. So we see our lives to the Le the lens of our perception, and unfortunately often, uh, that that is a very negative lens. So we have, it's, it's estimated that we have between 6,000, 60,000, 70,000 thoughts a day, and up to 70% of those can be negative, which I feel an entrepreneur trying to reach your goals is not a good situation to be in. So starting to get an awareness of those thoughts and understanding how we're thinking about things is really a great way to, to start. So you start by, um, by becoming aware of those thoughts and kind of really writing out what were the thoughts I'm having about this situation that I'm in.

Michelle (27:57):
And it is those thoughts that create our emotions. So off the back of thinking a certain thought, we then feel a certain way. Those emotions lead us to take specific actions or inactions, and inaction is actually still an action. So a great inaction is procrastination. And are we so good at procrastinating? You know, but it's, it's actually a fear-based action. It's, it's a fear-based inaction. So we have, um, yeah, it's, it's really, really interesting when you start to unpack it. I am not an expert in neuroscience by any means I know enough to be dangerous. Um, but I really fascinated by the way, our brains work and, and it's that mind, body connection, you know, when we start to understand it, we can unpack it and use it to our advantage so that those emotions lead to our actions and those actions that are effectively what deliver our results in our life and our work.

Michelle (28:51):
So the STEAR model allows us to understand that, and you can literally just journal that out, you know, whenever you find yourself getting stuck, whenever you're not moving forward or feeling fear. And then, um, the beauty of the model, and this is where I think I've taken it from CBT and flipped it the other way round is you turn the model upside down. So now you're starting with the Arline at the top, which is the results you want to create. What is it that you're trying to achieve? Right? You start there and you say, okay, in order to get that result, what behaviors do I need to be doing? What actions do I need to be taking? You know, and you can almost kind of take yourself out of yourself. You know, if somebody else was doing this, say for me, I might say, you know, there's one at some of the people that I, that I, um, that inspire me the most people like Brendon Burchard, Russell Brunson, Tony Robbins, you know, these, these big virtual mentors that I have, um, you know, I might say, what would, what would Brendon Burchard do in this situation?

Michelle (29:50):
So if he wanted to create this result, what would the actions and the behaviors be that he would do, right? And then we say, okay, for those actions and behaviors, what emotions do I need to be feeling? How do I need to be feeling in my body? And then what are the thoughts I have to be thinking in order to feel that way? And then we can start consciously and intentionally thinking those thoughts. And I have a whole set of other tools that help people to kind of change their thought patterns. And the, in this, when we, when we flip it upside down the situation, which is the very first part of the model, uh, that I talked about in the beginning, we don't need to go there because situations are always neutral. It's not the situation that creates the experience that we have. It is our thoughts about that situation.

Michelle (30:38):
And just to play back to what I was saying before, it's our expectations of that situation and how we should be happier, be responding to it. That is what causes us problems. So like this great podcast that we're listening to now, you know, if you wanted to create a podcast like that, if you're listening to this, how would you approach it? Well, if the result is to create a podcast, that's, that's really successful. Like, like this one, um, what behaviors, what actions would you need to be taking, where you would need those a step-by-step process? And then how would I need to be feeling well, I need to be feeling quite confident. I need to be feeling that I've got a purpose. I need to be feeling like, you know, there's a time for me to launch this. It's the right time. And people want to listen to this.

Michelle (31:18):
And then I need to be thinking about myself that, you know, I am absolutely worthy to start a podcast. I have a great network. I'm really good at speaking. It's going to be totally fine. So you can see how using a model like this allows you to start building success ahead of time. And that's what I think is so powerful about understanding how our brains work and understanding how our, um, effectively it's our survival mode that we kind of slip into. When we get scared. When we get into fear, it's our survival mode that kind of shuts us down. You know, you were

Morgane (31:51):
Talking about goals and expectations, but it seems like it surrounds your life too little bit that you said to us today. It's not like it was really planned, uh, you know, your husband, uh, suggesting to go to China, wasn't really planned. And then when you came back, when you went there and there's therapies that you got to know, and how you had this personal development and how we have to grow, of course, you have this goal to be very successful and driven, but how do you set goals when they're not really planned when you don't really know where you want to go?

Michelle (32:30):
I think it's such a good point. And, and it, it really speaks to the whole idea of success is not a straight line. Yeah. We think we start here, we get here and it's all going to be great. And life isn't like that, and work in business is not like that. You know, successes is up, down, up, down, back a bit forwards a bit, you know, is the line is not straight. Um, and I think for me, it's having a really, really clear idea, having crystal clarity on your vision of what success looks like for you, and it will be different for everybody. Um, you know, so whatever that success means for you having that crystal clear clear vision in your mind means you won't always know how you're going to get there, but as long as you know where you are now and where you want to get to, then you can start building the steps.

Michelle (33:22):
And I think it's, for me, it was always having that kind of goal or vision if you like of creating a certain life for myself and my family. Um, living with purpose, living with passion, following my intentions, you know, although the line has been very wavy has allowed me to, um, see opportunities and kind of grab them when they come along. And I think it's it's can be quite easy as entrepreneurs when we're very driven to almost be blinkered and kind of be in our lane. And it's very important that, that when opportunities come along, we can kind of look at those and judge them and say, you know, does, would that be an alternative way? You know, can I pivot and goodness me, aren't we in the mode now of needing to pivot, you know, as we're recording this with the pandemic, still raging.

Michelle (34:09):
So many businesses, my heart goes out to so many businesses that have had to pivot. Um, but there has been some incredible success as a result of that. You know, people are bringing their businesses online and finding a whole new markets, but their vision is still the same. You know, one of my clients is, um, runs an amazing, uh, cookery school and, and, and worked with schools for many years, um, helping children to learn how to bake and when COVID hit her whole business kind of collapsed. Um, but she worked to bring it online and now it's serving a whole new audience. Now has her vision changed? No her passion and her purpose for helping children to begin to live independently and, and learn to cook healthy meals as part of their growth and development is still there. But she seized on an opportunity to change the market, to work with a different set of people. And I think, you know, it can be very easy for us to, to feel a lot of fear when that happens, but being open to those opportunities, it can create a whole new path for your progress. Yeah.

Morgane (35:15):
Being open to opportunities. This is what happened with you. And, um, when you publish your book, when you met this, uh, this guy in an event that you went without thinking that it was a possibility, that's the same way as the planners, uh, you were looking to actually create your own and you were using the, actually, this is my era planners and you contacted the founders, got talking, and now today you're the director of the company. You just, you don't wait around for opportunities, but you also go farther and you look for them.

Michelle (35:55):
Yeah. I think it's, I've kind of always been that way. I think I get very excited about opportunities I always have. And, you know, I'll go for things 100% almost to my detriment. I think sometimes I have to reign myself in and not take on too much in one go. Um, but I think, you know, it is possible to have lots of different irons in the fire at the same time. I think there's this mentality where you can't have it all. And, and I think I disagree with that. I think you can have whatever you want to have in life. You just have to be very structured and organized about how you manage your time and you have to set very specific boundaries around areas of your life. So for example, you know, I always make sure that I have time for my children and time with my husband time for my family, even though I have these no, these goals and these plans, and there's so much that I want to achieve.

Michelle (36:47):
Um, you know, we have a very short life at the end of the day and I'm, I'm really passionate about living it to the full. Um, and I think, you know, because when I first met, uh, the team that this is my era, I was so blown away by the impact that they wanted to make as well. And I think when you have that impact in your mind, it really can help to direct you. So for example, every planner that gets sold helps to give a stationary kit to children in Africa, so they can start their own education journey. And I was blown away by the ability to, for, for us to help individuals to plan out goals that help them to live their best life. And just by doing that at the same time, we were helping children to start their own education journey. So they can get to a point where they can create goals and it becomes this great circle. Um, and I think because that throughput, that is what keeps me going. It's that passion really, that keeps me going and keeps me energized. And, you know, I I'm jumped out of bed in the morning. That's fine,

Morgane (37:49):
Very inspiring as well to see that, you know, you are very driven. You love what you doing. You know, you jump out of bed in the morning. This is not something we hear every day. And especially not this year in 2020 and how you, you have as well people. And you're looking to help people do the same. Uh, one question I always ask, because we going towards the end now is your view on success. And I'm very excited to hear about it because I'm sure you, you have something very inspiring to say. And I would like to know what is your view on success and how do you see your success?

Michelle (38:27):
So it's interesting, isn't it? I always like to think of success as the legacy that we leave behind. So for me, it's, it's what is the legacy that I'm creating every day that will stay behind when I'm gone. And I think you can use that idea in play it across different areas of your life. So what legacy will you leave for your family? What legacy will you leave for your customers and your clients? What legacy are you leaving behind? Um, for, for other people? So when I think about success, when I'm planning ahead for the next year or 18 months, I'm thinking about the legacy that I'm creating every day. And one of the exercises that we do in the reboot, your life course is that we take people through a step-by-step process to, and I know it sounds a little bit my carb, but to say, what, what will people say about you at your funeral?

Michelle (39:23):
What are going to people are going to stand up and say, after it's all over, and they're having a little drink afterwards and chatting about what they remember you for, what are they going to say? What do you want them to say? Because this is the legacy that we leave behind all of us. And, you know, when you start thinking about that, I want people to say that I made a difference, that I impacted their life in a positive way. You know, I want to say that there were opportunities that they grasped as a result of, of working with me or doing something or reading my book or taking one of our courses. You know, I want to be able to leave that legacy because at the end of the day, you know, we, we are here for what is relatively short time and, you know, making money is great and it gives us freedom to do things. And I have, I'm blessed to have done a lot of amazing things in my life, but at the end of the day, helping other people and serving is what lights me up. That's what that was. That's what makes me feel great. And if I can pass that on to other people, then that is success for me.

Morgane (40:26):
I absolutely love this idea of thinking about your legacy and how, what people will remember you off. And that's very interesting. I've never thought about it like that. I think it's because I'm young and I'm thinking I'm going to die soon, but that could happen. You know, I could just have an accident more BDT. No, let's hope not. But yeah. Thank you so, so much for telling us your story and inspiring people. And because I'm sure anyone who will listen to today's podcast will be inspired and really feel like they can do it. And that's kind of the goodness of each episode is to make sure anyone, I knew I interview women, but I know that's men are listening too. And I want everyone to feel like they are good enough and, um, to feel motivated. So thank you for that.

Michelle (41:24):
You are really, really welcome. It's been an absolute pleasure being here.

Morgane (41:29):
Well, thank you so much and I'll speak to you later. Bye bye.

Michelle (41:34):
Well, that's the end and I want to thank Michelle for telling her story. If you're listening to this, that means you've enjoyed this episode. So please give the podcast five stars on Apple podcasts and leave a review so I can see your feedback. Also share it on your social media, because it helps me spread the message of motivation and support. And you don't know, in my reach, someone who we feel inspired to follow their dreams, don't forget. Life is short, live it to the fullest.

Michelle (42:07):
So there you have it. My guest appearance on the way of living podcast, listening back to our chat and reliving my personal journey really shows the power of perspective. Living through challenges feels so incredibly hard at the time, but I've come to believe that everything we go through is a lesson for us. We need to own our journeys. And I know I've learned so much from what I've been through over the last decade. I truly hope that you've gained something from today's episode and that it's given you some perspective on your own journey. And Hey, if you did like this episode, would you head over to iTunes, drop some stars and leave me a review? It really does mean that more amazing women will be able to find the show. And I really love reading your feedback. Okay. That's it for me today. Thanks so much for tuning in. I know your time is valuable and I appreciate you taking the time to join me. I'd love you to continue the conversation with me in the ideal life club, Facebook group, to find out more and join us, head over to miscarriage, coaching.com forward slash ideal life club. In the meantime until next time, be positive, be powerful, be productive and keep first checking your ideal business and life. Bye for now.


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